Running Blind
by Pugnacious Peace
Summary: "He'd once resided in the bustling city of Saol, having survived enough trauma to last a lifetime. It seems as if the torture is not yet over, as he finds himself lost and fighting for his life in a world unknown, up against the Creatures of his Nightmares..." RATED M FOR A REASON, GUYS. This is an experiment - 'YAOI' inside! You are warned!
1. Arrows

**Still stuck on CotF… So I've been working on this little thing in my spare time! With school starting up soon, I won't have much time to update stories, if there's any at all. This here is simply an experiment so it won't be perfect at first and some things may change later on. **

**About the AU from before this fanfic (an AU within an AU… what the hell is this…)**

**In the 'reality' on the other side of Minecraft in this fan fiction, there exist not only humans but what can be referred to as 'Elementals'. There are four races – Sylphs, Gnomes, Undines, and Salamanders. Sylphs control the air, Gnomes are Earth (Flora and Fauna, mostly), Undines use Water (including Ice), and Salamanders, of course, wield flame. I suppose, if you needed a 'popular' reference, think of 'Avatar TLA' or 'LoK'. Everything that's important I will explain, but if you have questions just let me know and I'll answer them. **

**WARNING**: **Character is gay, and chapters will probably have some sexual content (not graphic, don't worry) and overall sexual themes. Put those together. The only reason I warn you about this now is because I don't want to hear ANY bitching in the reviews about it, so if you don't like it, just turn back now. Story is rated T for now – it will likely be switched to M later on due to excessive cursing and graphic violence. You have been warned.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter One:**_

_**Arrows**_

* * *

Saol had once been his home. His 'Hell' as he had jokingly put it. Despite the ridicule and violence toward him, he had loved every square inch of the island. His work in the club his adoptive father had owned was his anti-depressant. At least, it had been before the man was murdered and said murderer turned their focus onto _him_.

Aah. That didn't exactly matter – he was alive now, that was what mattered. He'd survived the kidnapping, the rape, the murders, the insanity, the torture – everything that had been thrown at him, he had met head-on with a fearless face, cherishing every morning he opened his eyes to find himself still in bed and still breathing.

At least… he _had_. Now he wished that murderer had simply finished him off.

His entire existence had been based in tradition. While he'd broken that tradition after he'd run away from the forest, his only home, he still followed his original teachings long after it. He'd been taught to avoid humans, but never show fear. Show caution in the city, but continue on with both physical and emotional strength.

These traditions were fast deteriorating.

The rain pounded against the rocks shielding him and he huddled in the corner of the tiny cave, trembling as he squeezed his eyes shut. The twenty-six year old was once strong and capable, if a little emotional at times. He hadn't the chance to be a child, and it had reflected on him in the later years…

But here he was aging… well, too fast.

_Clack… clack…_

His eyes snapped open and widened as he flattened himself against the wall of the cave, breathing quietly. Once again he attempted to will the flame to his fingertips, and once again it failed – not even a spark. He prayed silently in Salamander, closing his eyes briefly in hopes that She would hear him.

Clearly, She had not.

The bones came into view with an over-dramatic flash of lightening and a loud _boom_ of thunder. The air was aimed directly at him and he screamed instinctively, far too familiar with the feeling of being on the very edge of Death.

His Survival instinct kicked in, and despite the lack of fire in his hands, he leapt to his feet and charged at the figure, nearly suffering an arrow to the shoulder. Instead he strafed about (though there had been very little room to do so) and eventually slammed his entire body into the enemy.

A sickening _crack_ of the dislodging of bones rang clear and true in his ears, even with all the noise around him. He fell to the ground with the feared creature and he rolled away, the adrenaline slowly fading and giving way to terror. It sizzled and the screaming entered his mind, filling his thoughts with guilt and awful crying, a hysterical voice calling out to him, accusing him, insulting him.

And it was gone. He had unconsciously pressed his palms to the sides of his head and, once the noise had died and given way to the rain, he dropped his arms and stared at the space where the figure had once lain.

He could see the shadows in the distance. Figures he had thought only existed in nightmares, the moaning and groaning and spitting and hissing of creatures unknown heard only in his imagination.

He knew not where he was. He knew not how he had even gotten here – but he _did_ know that something had to be done. He had to survive. He had to find a way home. Back to Saol. Back to his life. Back to normalcy.

He stared at the dissolving bones and spotted the bow and the scarce arrows. He stepped closer, gulped, and grasped the weapon in frail hands.

The thunder rolled.


	2. Lonely

**On to the next. If you're a little confused by the end, good. I'd be a little worried if you understood everything already. Italics are memories in the form of dreams.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Two:**_

_**Lonely**_

* * *

"_Please… please, Ankh, I'm begging you-"_

"_Shut up!"_

_The wet sound of a bloody hand slapping flesh, the young male sat in the corner trembling as his wrists ached. He had already attempted to singe the rope – his strength had been sapped in the previous struggle, and he was being regularly dosed with that damned military-grade neutralizer and doused with water before he could even **think** about using his fire. Bi-colored eyes slowly looked upward to the woman he'd once believed was his friend – the ravenette smirked slowly, her hand slowly making its way to his middle, fingers stroking his thigh. He shuddered involuntarily and felt the tears burning all over again, lips parting as fear took over. The hand was removed and she forced him to look up, forced him to watch her move her own hand over her breasts to rest on her belly, a cruel smile forming. Feng could feel his entire body convulsing in both terror, fear, and sympathy, a small twinge of self-pity rolling about in the cocktail along with it. _

"…_You…"_

_She grinned._

"_He's yours."_

* * *

_Thump thump thump_

Pant. Pant. Pant.

_Thud. Riiiiip_

Grunt.

Feng stood before the creature beneath him, ignoring the blood dripping on his face, as well as the crimson on his fingers. The corpse beneath him had long since rotted away – long before he ever got a hold of it. Groaning in disgust, he tore a chuck of the meat away from its body, the bile rising in his throat as he lifted it to his lips. The food had been scarce – he was _desperate_. The rumbling in his belly was becoming more than just a nuisance. It was now a sharp pain, sapping away his strength to the point of being unable to take two steps without needing a rest.

His stomach turned and he forced the vomit back, swallowing and taking a deep breath, snapping his teeth together on the rotten flesh.

He immediately regretted it.

He groaned and gasped, greasy hair flaring out in all directions as he felt the vomit rise in his throat. He did nothing to stop it, unable to control it, throwing the flesh to the side as he held himself up. His retching was telling, if his trembling body was not. Living in the forest had taught him many things – how to cook without kitchen appliances, the importance of hunting, the skills necessary to survive longer than just a few weeks in the wild.

But it had _not_ prepared him for _this_.

The body was already dissolving into the ground and Feng stood shakily, wiping his lips and stumbling away, his vision blurring and shaking, seeing double. He could hear water, but had no sense to tell just which direction it came from. He could hear many things – the screeching of birds, the crackling and popping of lava, distant thunder, clucking-

Clucking?

Recognizing the sound he lowered himself to a crouch, moving slowly along the ground, focusing his remaining energy on sneaking about. As he crossed into a tree line, he could see the white creature fluttering about.

A chicken!

Hunger pangs pressed against him and pushed him on, leading him to launch out of the shadows and leap onto his next meal, taking hold of its neck, apologizing silently, and snapping it. It was still in only a moment, and he looked up, noting the setting sun.

He had to move.

_Now_.

* * *

He'd noticed the dangers of night – the sun was welcome at every moment not matter the heat, only minor dangers accompanying it. It was only when the moon rose that the nightmares began.

He dragged the chicken with him, sprinting with newfound determination, huddling into the same cave he'd been holing out in for what felt like months. Torches burned indefinitely and he watched them curiously, unable to figure out just _why_ they never went out – he found that he didn't exactly care.

It took longer than he'd planned but eventually, he got a fire going and had propped the chicken over it, the feathers plucked and lying in a pile next to him. He wasn't entirely sure what he would do with them, but he _knew_ they'd come in handy… somehow.

He spaced out, staring at the embers in longing. He remembered the days where that heat would be in his palms, the fire dancing and twirling and thriving at his fingertips. He'd gotten it taken away from him long ago and _finally_ returned to him – only now, he was here, and once again, the power was gone. Cursing his luck he looked back at the meat and was surprised to find that the meal was cooked perfectly – testing revealed it to be true, cooked evenly throughout.

_Works for me,_ Feng thought, pulling a leg off and digging his teeth into it, moaning silently and closing his eyes. Finally… a decent meal. It wasn't his Aunt Éclair's chicken, that was for damn sure – but it was food. It was definitely welcomed.

He hadn't been able to finish it. He frowned and took off his shirt, opting to keep the food on _something_ that wasn't covered in dust – even if his shirt wasn't the best alternative. Still, he turned it over, noting it was slightly cleaner, and set the food on it, sitting back and closing his eyes. His lips moved silently as he prayed, folding his hands over his chest.

"_Please. If you can hear me, here… please just show me a way home. If anything, show me how to survive. I am begging you, my Mother, my Creator, and my Saint – protect me from this Hell._"

When nothing responded, he gave an even heavier sigh, his head thumping against rock as exhaustion flooded his senses. Belly full and nerves slightly calmed, his eyes slid closed and his dreams once again took over.

* * *

"_Feng?"_

_His eyes rose from his hands gripping the hospital sheets, the oxygen mask over his lips forcing him into silence. Blue eyes stared back at him, misted with tears and worry. "…You're awake…"_

_Feng could barely find the strength to nod. Still, his head moved and the man broke down, covering his face with one hand and holding Feng's fingers in the other. "Jesus, they said… they told me you were touch and go for a while, and we thought… Éclair was planning your funeral, and—"_

_Feng shook his head, his sides aching. The bullet wounds still stung and his head still pounded, but overall he was alright, if a little traumatized. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the barrel of a gun and…_

_He gritted his teeth and frowned behind the mask, pulling his hand up to grasp it in irritation. As soon as it was removed, the man grunted and attempted to force it back – the Salamander in the bed merely glared at him and slapped his hand away, huffing._

"_If… if I am to stay here… I am breathing on my own… un…until I can no longer." Feng huffed, his chest heaving with the efforts. The brunette raised his hands and shook his head, sighing dramatically._

"_Fine. Fine… I know better than to argue. Hey, aah… He… he's here."_

_Feng smiled softly, closing his eyes. "…I'm glad. I remember seeing him after I was shot."_

"_He found you."_

"_I know. I still don't know how."_

"_I don't either – to be honest it's suspicious in its own right. I still don't know why you still let him stay with you-"_

"_Andy…" Feng murmured, sighing shakily as the Sylph next to him halted, grimacing as Feng's voice became laced with tears. "…You know why I do, Andrew. You know it, and I know you know it."_

"…_Yeah, yeah… you-"_

"_I love him."_


	3. Cinema

**This takes place in the CITY, at the same time that Feng is murdering that zombie in the last chapter. So you get to see Saol! Are you as excited as I am? C;**

**MAX DOES NOT BELONG TO ME. HE IS THE CREATION OF MY FRIEND. THERE.**

**BTW – this was Mnem's original purpose. Seeing him here has nothing to do with Tellus.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Three**_

_**Cinema**_

* * *

Brown hair waved as he wrung his hands, mumbling to himself as he attempted to run through the events of the week.

Day one. He goes missing.

Day two. He never answers phone calls, texts, emails, video chats.

Day three. His apartment was empty.

Day four. Seth checked missing person records and sightings for the fifth time. No reports.

_Damn it._

Here it was, day eighteen, and Feng was still missing. He hadn't gone to the church, he wasn't with his ex, he wasn't here at Andy's, and he wasn't with his Aunt or Baby. He considered checking the prisons to see if he'd gone to visit Ankh, but he couldn't exactly imagine _why_ he would. After all, Ankh _had_ raped him and tried to murder him and everyone around him, including his adoptive father.

Yeah. So why would he go see her?

He pursed his lips and snagged his keys from the counter, rushing out the door with his cell phone against his ear.

"_Seth Hills, Saol City Limit P-_"

"Cut the shit, Seth. I'm heading over to the prison."

"_Why? Did somebody find Feng?_" Seth's voice lowered softly, obviously nervous that he was taking a personal call during his shift.

"No. I just… I don't know where the hell he is. If he's not out drinking with Max, then he'd be at the church or even at home watching TV – but he's _not_. He hasn't been for… for… for what, two weeks? Three?"

"_Two and a half._" Seth's voice came over the line as calming, even through the awful quality.

Andy sighed, shaking visibly as he waved absent mindedly to the elderly neighbor and her caretaker, slipping into the car. The woman on the porch looked worriedly at him, her eyes wishing him the best of luck – Andy smiled and thanked her quietly, putting the keys in the ignition, preparing himself, and putting the car into reverse. He pressed the button on the steering wheel and started Hands Free, setting the phone in front of the radio.

"Yes, well… two and a half weeks is more than enough time for somebody to royally fuck him up. Shit, it only took two _days_ for Ankh to ruin him forever. She shot him at eighteen – he's nearing thirty and he is _still_ having nightmares!"

"_Who wouldn't? I still have nightmares of my first firefight._"

"You were in a gang, Seth. Just a bit different. If I remember correctly, you were involved?"

"_I-…Water under the bridge._" The officer muttered under his breath, the Undine language fluttering over the line in bits and pieces. Andy grinned, only catching 'prick', his nerves calming immensely. Clearly, calling his lover was a good decision.

"At any rate… I'll be heading over to have a little _talk_ with Ankh. She… she might have somehow gotten her followers to finish the job."

Seth grunted in acknowledgement, though his mind was clearly elsewhere. "…Seth?"

"_Hm? Oh. Right, yeah, maybe."_

"Are you even listening to me, you little ass?"

"_Yes, I am. I just… maybe it's not as bad as we thing. Maybe he just… I don't know, snapped. Maybe he went back home._"

Home. Andy felt the sympathy all over again, putting on the brakes slowly as he approached a stoplight. As soon as his vehicle came to a stopping point, he looked out to the forest, seeing a flurry of movement beyond the brush. He recognized one of the figures in the distance – Mnem, Feng's older brother. The raven haired man slid between the trees, disappearing after what Andy could only assume was Feng's other siblings. He sighed, closing his eyes. "…I don't know. I guess he could've gone back to the forest. It just… seems unlikely. He would have told us, at the very least told Max."

"_And not you?_" Seth mused, and Andy frowned, hissing.

"You know it just as well as I – he's always had a connection with Max I never did. Don't know why, he's a p-"

_Honk!_

Andy jumped, his eyes shooting up to the stoplight. He reached his hand out, putting up his thumb in thanks, and drove forward, reddening slightly as he realized that he'd zoned out _that_ far.

"_Andy, Max isn't that bad. You just hate him because he got Feng's love and you didn't._"

"N-no! That is not true! Look, yeah, I love him. Still do. You know that but damn it, I know I'll never have him and so I stopped trying."

"_And now you have me._"

"Exactly. And I've never been happier."

He could feel the officer smile on the other line, heard the clicking of a pen, and then the door creaking open.

"_Wh- hold on, Andy._"

"Yeah."

He took a right on Haniye, clearing his throat in nervousness as he cut through the city. The prison was on the other side – he could feel the worry and fear and, yes, anger, as he approached. It hadn't been long before he found himself parked in front of the towering structure, gulping as Seth returned to the phone.

"_Hey. I have to go, I'm being called out._"

"Everything alright?"

"_Yeah. Just a pile up on Ruby._"

"Damn. That street is _always_ backed up."

"_Don't I know it? Look, I'll see you at home. Be careful, alright? And don't lose your head. Just stay calm – she can't hurt you, but the guards can._"

"I know. Love you."

"_Love you too._"

The line went dead and Andy turned the key in the car, listening to the engine die. The vehicle clicked, creaked, moaned, as it cooled, and he closed his eyes, finally gaining the strength to open the door.

* * *

It had been more than a little difficult – the guards hadn't exactly been keen on the idea of him speaking with Ankh but after a little 'persuasion', he managed to find the weakest link and sit in front of the booth, staring at the empty space on the other side. The phone cord was longer than needed, but he used it to his advantage, playing with it nervously. Dull voices echoed through the room and he shifted, closing his eyes.

_Thump_.

Those blue eyes snapped open and he found himself looking into the sapphire eyes of Feng's nightmares, the black hair grown out and her blue bangs brighter than ever. He had to question it – but he didn't dwell on it for long, reaching for the phone as she did.

"_Well._" She started, her smile growing. "_If it isn't Feng's little guardian. How is the little man?_"

"Wouldn't know." He snapped, frowning. He'd forgotten just how _irritating_ Ankh's smile was, how eerie her voice had become. "He's been gone for two and a half weeks."

Ankh's eyes flickered and he could see the worry, her lips turning into a frown. "…how are you, Andy?"

"What are you hiding?"

"_It's been a while since I've seen you on positive terms. Last I saw you, Feng was all bloody in your arms. Still haunts me, you know, I suppose I went a little overboard—_"

"_**Where is he**_!?" Andy shouted, slamming his fist into the table and standing. Several voices died and eyes were on him – but Ankh's eyes hadn't changed, and her lips pulled into a thin smile.

"_Calm down, Andy. I don't know where he is. I told you, I haven't seen him. I wouldn't have asked how he was if I had._"

"I don't know who else would know where he is, Ankh. You are the last on the list. If I find out you sent one of your fucking Toys out there to kill him, I will _personally_ see to it that you get the death penalty." He snarled, attempting to relax. It was no use – the claws were out.

It was silent – Ankh made no move, though her unused hand twirled around the cord. Her nails had been shortened greatly, however, and the appeal was quickly lost. She pulled up her lips in thought, releasing a short sigh.

Finally, she spoke, her voice soft.

"…How is Glen?"

Andy stared at her, anger gone as he flopped back into the chair. That was the problem with Ankh – years of abuse and pent up emotion had destroyed her sanity – one moment she was a psychotic bitch, the next she was… well, she was what she had become now.

A worried mother.

"He's fine. Living with Feng's parents." He offered, closing his eyes. He was tired, worked to the bone and still moving forward despite that exhaustion.

Ankh smiled happily, her voice choked with tears. "…good. Good, I'm glad he's okay… had Feng gone to see him?"

"A couple times, yeah. From what I hear the kid's growing up well. His being mixed, though, is proving to be an issue. He took your DNA."

She nodded softly, little tears streaking down her cheeks. "…is it possible that I could see him soon-"

"To be honest, I don't think you even deserve to know how he is. The only reason he's here is because you _raped_ Feng to get him. You know that Feng can't even look his own kid in the eyes because of you? He had a _son_ at nineteen. And he wasn't even ready. So no, you cannot. Ever."

Ankh choked softly and covered her eyes – Andy turned away, putting the phone back up and making his way out of the room, refusing to look back.


	4. Help, I'm Alive!

**Yeah! Let's do this. C:**

**Back to Feng.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Four**_

_**Help, I'm Alive!**_

* * *

He cursed quietly, his back hitting the ground as he stared at the top of the trees. He stared at the creature, eyes wide, as it snorted at him. He was absolutely _starving_, and that pig looked like a potential meal. He didn't even bother to question just _why_ or _how_ that little soon-to-be pork chop got into the leaves and he didn't exactly care.

The only problem is that he'd not been accustomed to climbing trees in his years living in the city.

Channeling the inner Elemental, calling upon his instincts, he leapt from the ground, grabbing onto the bark. His feet scrabbled against it and he fell back down, growling as the pig disappeared.

"Fuck!" he shouted, birds flying from the canopy. He slowly got to his feet and made his way around the tree, his feet snapping little twigs lying on the jungle's cover. He'd gone a long way from his previous 'home', if you could call that cave a home. He'd been on the move for days, choosing to sprint away from enemies instead of hiding. It was relatively simple – most gave up the chase after a short time, choosing to ignore him.

The only exception…

_Hssssssss_

Feng gasped and yelped, jumping out of the way and slamming into the leaves as a loud explosion ripped through the air. He felt his entire body reduced to small tremors, vibrations tearing through him. He remained there for several moments, breathing deeply as he attempted to calm his nerves – it did nothing to aid him and he let his head fall, his face pressing against the cool grass.

If he hadn't heard the dull thump of a body falling from the trees, he probably would have lain there for a time longer, but his curiosity destroyed his exhaustion, getting to his knees and then to his feet, shuffling around the hole, and staring down in surprise at the pig's corpse. A slow grin worked its way along his face and, despite his aching pride, grabbed the pig and hefted it up, grunting with the weight and making his way to his 'camp'. As soon as he arrived he thrust the small stone knife he'd discovered buried in the desert and worked his way through it, wincing and ignoring the guts and blood and other unappealing features – all he wanted was the meat. He didn't care about anything else, and nothing would stop him from eating. He had to eat something, and soon, or he would be right back where he started. He'd been living on chickens and, dare he say it, _flesh_ to survive, most of the time it was the latter. To have something _new_ would be a treat in itself. "Come on you little bastard," Feng muttered, tearing into it and peeling what he needed.

* * *

Stomach full, he leaned against the wall of the cave, eyes closing as he grinned. The remains of the pig, all useless to him now, had been thrown some distance away from the cave. Maybe he'd be lucky and the monsters outside would be distracted enough with that to bother him.

Huddled up by the dying fire, Feng felt his face, the caked dirt and mud hiding his flesh from the world. He'd once been beautiful, a sought-after gem of Eden – hell, even of Saol. There wasn't a single man who visited the club who didn't at least know his name. He was the very definition of sex, of sensuality, of passion.

Seeing him now, nobody would ever know it. His blond hair was left in disarray, red highlights a darker crimson, coated with dirt. Bi-colored eyes were dulled and glazed in disappointment, fear, and nightmarish convulsion.

He sighed and looked toward the stone, swallowing carefully and pulling his knees closer to his chest, listening to the noise outside. He could hear the steps coming closer and he squeezed his eyes closed, throwing his shirt over the flame frantically. After a few moments the flame was gone, and he remained in darkness, watching the groaning corpse shamble past the cave's opening. He curled onto his side, closing his eyes and praying for sleep to come to him.


	5. Memory One: Fragility

**Alright. This… This is where the M rating comes in. **

**WARNING: There WILL be a minor sex scene here! It isn't graphic, as I don't put those in public view, but it's enough to warrant the M rating, I'd imagine. However, this is NOT an important part of the story, merely a memory of Feng's that will give a couple hints to his character. You may skip this chapter entirely. You have been warned. However, it is NOT all sexual. There might be a moment where you get feels.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Memory One**_

"_**Fragility"**_

* * *

Feng gasped as he was pressed against the wall, eyes glazed as the hands slowly made their way across his skin. His entire form gave a shudder and he grunted, his lips pursing.

"I don't want to- G-gah…- I don't want to get into this with you right now, Miles..."

The man grinned up at him, fumbling with the button of his jeans. "C'mon, Feng… isn't this what you've been doing at the clubs?"

Feng opened his mouth to argue and found himself instantly silenced, the lips pushed together savagely. He attempted to fight – the human before him, however, was more than a little persistent, slipping his hands into the back of the Salamander's clothes, fingers playing with the boxers fitted around slim hips.

Feng's face had already reddened, and while his hands were still placed firmly on Miles' chest, releasing a small whimper as he was lifted. For Miles being smaller than Feng himself (which was quite the feat, as the Salamander was thin and short for his age at present) he was strong and perfectly capable of lifting the older male from the floor, though it wasn't far. Grunting in annoyance, Feng pushed Miles away and dropped to the floor, holding his weight up on the wall.

He was amazingly flustered, with his mussed hair, wrinkled white button-up shirt, and an all-too-obvious sign of his soon to come cooperation. Normally, he would have done little more than smirk at the person opposite him and prepare a false 'I need you' speech, and if he were at the club he'd have done just that – but this man before him, this human, was his boyfriend of a year – and at seventeen, that was more than enough time to 'get to know each other'.

"If we're going to do this…" Feng murmured, standing on his own with a calm, deceptive smirk, placing his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans. Miles shuddered and smiled dreamily, the Elemental charm washing over him. "…We're doing it **my way**.

* * *

Alright. So perhaps he'd pushed it. As Miles lay panting beside him, grunting slightly in pain though his face had relaxed post-orgasm, Feng sat up from the bed, clearing his throat in the silence. He wiped his lips and frowned, breathing in and standing fully.

Miles chuckled, and when Feng turned, the male was staring at his hips, eyes burning in lust – the Salamander rolled his eyes.

"I'm the Elemental here, and _you're_ the one who wants more?"

"I'm the one who's been violated in every way imaginable."

"I wouldn't call it violation."

"No? What would **you** call it?" Miles asked, playing with the sheets calmly as Feng paraded about the room, with seemingly no purpose – in truth, he was searching for his damned phone, which had somehow ended up disappearing through the floor in no other way than phasing through the floor and into the abyss. Of course, perhaps that was simply his overactive imagination at work and it had simply been buried in the clothes forgotten on the floor.

He liked the former explanation better.

"…Hmm… Well… I would call it seduction."

"But wasn't it I who seduced _you_?"

"Yes, but **you** were the one who let me take over. Your fault, I take no blame for you not being able to work tomorrow."

Miles rolled his eyes, smiling and watching his boyfriend bring up the small phone.

"Finally… jeeze- Aah…"

Miles' smile disappeared as Feng sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "…Eden?"

"Yeah… Baby called in sick. Dad needs me running the bar. I'll see you later, okay?"

Miles nodded, smiling and lifting an arm – Feng moved over without a word, pressing his lips softly and lovingly against the other's own, playing with his hair innocently and running a hand down his shoulder.

He got dressed quickly and opened the door as Miles covered himself. "Hey."

"Mm?"

"…I love you."

Feng smiled weakly, nodding slowly. "…Yeah. I know."

* * *

"All I wanted to know is what you were doing today!"

"And I fucking _told you_! I'm working!"

"Again? Jesus, you're fucking unbelievable!"

"What do you mean?"

"There is no _possible_ way you work that often!"

"Obviously there is, or I would be asleep or dead."

"Hopefully the latter!"

Feng stopped, staring at Miles in disbelief. The human was still rolling, and he either meant his words or hadn't even realized he'd said them. "You're always at work, or-or you're out with your friends, or out drinking alone! What about _me_, Feng!? What the hell am _I_ supposed to do!? I'm lucky if I can even catch you on the phone anymore!"

"Well I-"

"You're either fucking some twink in a backroom or avoiding me like the plague!"

"Wait-"

"And sometimes I love you and sometimes I can't get enough of you – but you never want anything to do with me unless I'm naked or _silent_! You're nowhere near as committed to this relationship as I am! And you know what? Not _once_ have you ever said you even _loved me_!"

Feng stepped forward dangerously, his palms blazing as his stomach churned. "Now hold the fuck _on_, human. You know why I never said it? Do you?" When only silence responded, Miles silencing in terror, Feng extinguished the flame and chose to ball up his fists, grabbing the other's shirt. "Because the last time I loved someone, they ended up _dead_! Sure, they weren't a lover – but I've learned pretty fucking fast in this city – you don't open your heart to anybody or it'll end up just as broken as glass on a pavement!"

Miles was quiet. Feng was quiet. The two stared at each other and the Salamander finally released him, covering his eyes as he hid his face, turning quickly to avoid detection.

"…F…Feng…"

"No. Just… just… no." his voice trembled, his lip quivering slightly. The hand on his shoulder forced him to turn around and he glared into Miles' eyes, a tear falling down his cheek. "I'm sorry – I can't stay with somebody who just wished me _dead_."

And he was gone, the door left open with his departure. Feng galloped down the steps and held up his hand, summoning a flame briefly – a taxi stopped and pulled over, allowing him to get in. As he made himself comfortable and buckled up, the man looked back.

"…Where to, kiddo?"

"…Just… drive. Please. I'll tell you where to go."

The man shrugged, not pushing it, and listened to the directions given by the Elemental. He stopped in front of a small brick house, and Feng stood, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket. He handed the man the money and when the driver smiled, Feng couldn't conjure his own. He wished him a good day and turned away, wiping his eyes as he jumped up the steps, knocking on the door heavily.

The door swung open. Feng looked at Andy, sniffling – the brunette stopped, the cigarette hanging from his lips, before noting the expression.

"…Oh, Feng…"

"…Can… can I come in…"

"Sure. Come on, kid."

Feng curled against the Sylph, sobbing quietly, taking comfort in the older man's touch.

"Where's the guardian _whore_?" Feng asked, referring to the man's new wife. Andy snarled, but shook his head.

"_Rins_ is out with her friends tonight. Something about a new baby."

"Oh god, it's not yours is it?"

"No. I haven't done anything with her – don't plan on it, either. I wouldn't touch her with a twenty foot pole."

Feng snickered, hiccupping quietly and accepting the tissue when it was offered. "…Thanks."

"For?"

"…being here. For me."

"Feng. That's what friends do. You know I'm here whenever you need me, whether Rins is here or not."

Feng nodded, clasping the other's hand tightly.

* * *

Eighteen. A full year after the breakup with Miles – and things had taken a turn for the worst. Not only had Feng been bashed at a café and ended up in the hospital with a concussion, but now that he'd been released, he was being blamed for giving a man HIV and was forced to go get tests. To top things off, once he'd told his father, the man had given him that haughty 'I told you so' expression and Feng, in a blind rage, had left the apartment above the club.

However, there was… _one_ upside…

Feng looked at the older man across from him and smiled, watching the male pick berries out of the shortbread cookies he'd ordered. The man had already saved him (or rather, he'd tried to – by the time he made it over Feng had gotten the situation under control for the most part) and had taken him in for a night… and to think, they'd only known each other for a single night. Every time he looked at the man, his heart fluttered and his stomach rolled, a blush making its way to his cheeks. When the man tripped over his words, Feng giggled forgivingly and the other would smile weakly, moving past the incident. Overall the elder was smooth-talking, charming, and overall very handsome. Feng supposed he would _have_ to be – after all, he was an escort.

Perhaps that was the best part. He _understood_. He wouldn't judge, and he had yet to show any signs – or desires – to jump his bones at every turn. It was a welcome turn of events and he rather liked it.

And then, he remembered the conversation before hand.

Miles had worked here, and he'd known that when his current friend had brought him in – but he hadn't expected him to _still_ work there and he certainly hadn't expected him to be their waiter.

He smiled as Miles set the cup of tea in front of Feng, stuttering quietly. Feng let it go, smiling warmly. He'd released all animosity from the past year, now only moving forward with his life, leaving the moments where they had happened… still, he could feel the awkwardness.

As the two stood to leave, Miles rushed over to them, holding a small white flower, one that only grew in the forests where Feng had grown up. He vaguely recalled taking Miles there in the beginning of their relationship… but this flower looked fresh.

"I…I was hoping I would see you soon. I'm sorry."

Feng smiled weakly and took the plant with fragile hands, nodding and turning on his heel, leaving him behind.

Max strolled next to him calmly, clearing his throat and leaning over, presumably so Miles wouldn't hear them.

"You should call him sometime."

Feng twirled the flower in his fingers and shook his head, sighing.

"…It didn't work once… and it won't work again."


	6. Love Me

**Okay. After last chapter we're going back to… well… tame, I s'pose. As tame as Feng gets, which is not much at all. I'm not really proud of this chap, but I had to push on through the boring shit. **

**By the way, the titles to all the chapters (except the first) are song titles. They are all related to Feng in a way, not necessarily the chapter. And not all of them are English. **

**Have fun trying to find them. xD**

**Onward, my friends/readers!**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Five**_

_**Love Me**_

* * *

Sun. The first thought that had crossed his mind as his eyes fluttered open was that he had survived the night, and a quiet thrill rushed through him.

The second was that he had fallen asleep in a cave… and the sun shouldn't be warming his face.

His eyes, once only opened a crack, snapped wide open, and he pushed his upper body from the ground, gasping as he looked upon his surroundings.

The buildings were made of stone mostly, with only a little bit of wooden logs as what he assumed supportive pillars on each corner, and probably decorative on the top. But that wasn't what had gotten him so excited; no, _two_ things had done that.

One was People. They walked along the gravel pathways, conversing with one another quietly as they passed before moving on their way.

The second was _food_. Multiple wheat fields grew here, one in front of him and he could see two more in the distance, perhaps a third if he squinted. He could smell something cooking – _Hamburgers!?_** – **before he leapt to his feet.

His sudden movement drew attention to him. Some of the men jumped back slightly, staring at him nervously. Others moved closer slowly, curiosity misting their eyes with amusement.

Feng stood nervously, teetering on his feet for a moment before remaining still, gulping nervously as one drew his sword. "Wait," Feng held up his hands, and the man with a sword jolted slightly, narrowing his eyes. "Now hold on, I don't know how I-"

"Stand down," an older voice spoke, warm and kind. It reminded Feng much of his adoptive father and he whirled around to face the speaker. The man was perhaps in his late sixties, perhaps early seventies, a thin face and grayed hair. However he still walked as if he were twenty, his kind smile warming Feng's insides as he relaxed. The man with the sword did the same, sighing and removing himself from the crowd. The older man looked to Feng, who smiled weakly and kept inching toward the source of food, his stomach rumbling. The man chuckled, reaching out and taking Feng's shoulder gently. "You must be hungry, m'boy. Come, we are making dinner as we speak."

"D-dinner!? How long have I been asleep!?"

"We found you in a cave, my team and I. You had been surrounded. I had been afraid you were dead, to be honest. You are healthy now, yes?"

"…I was… surrounded? But I fell asleep alone, and I never woke up-"

"They can do that, sometimes… there are clever Monsters out in the wild, you just have to be unlucky enough to find them. Come, come, let us go."

* * *

It wasn't until his third piece of meat that he began to get odd stares, even from the older man who, Feng assumed, was the leader of this little village.

"…How long have you been on your own, child?"

Feng covered his lips as he chewed and swallowed, remembering his manners before he spoke. "…I…I don't know, sir. I'd say around a month or two. I'm not sure, the days and nights are… shorter than I remember. I lost track at twenty two days."

Murmurs. The elder frowned for the first time, inspecting Feng's face from across the small table. Feng swallowed another bit of food and looked up at him, pausing for a moment as all eyes turned on him. What had he done wrong? Or did he even _do_ something wrong?

"Perhaps Notch has sent him," a man murmured, and the elder looked over at him, brows raised. "He may be like Steve,"

"Steve?" Feng asked slowly, setting down the remainder of his food. "You mean… you mean there are _more_ people here?" his voice came out shaky, giddy, and he nearly bounced about in his seat. People! More people! And who was this 'Notch' fellow? Was he another human, too?

"Notch had sent Steve to us while we were in great distress. Steve saved us," a younger man responded, nodding happily. "Steve had been wandering for months before finding us. Perhaps you are the same!"

"There is only one problem with that," the elder spoke clearly, sighing. "We are not in danger. If any of us are in danger here, it is…- I'm sorry, child, in all this excitement I seem to have missed your name."

Feng smiled, nodding. "My name is Fliairio Lesedi – But Feng will do. It's a bit of a mouthful."

Stares. Once again Feng felt like shrinking beneath the table, but he stood his ground, wringing his hands in his lap.

"…Yes. Feng. He is in more danger here than we are. After all we found him huddled in a cave. Quite a pathetic sight, in all honesty."

Feng huffed, crossing his arms. "Forgive me. I ran out of arrows quite a while ago."

"Aah yes. Speaking of, here." The elder pulled the bow from the corner of the room – but Feng could see a faint purple light, wavering in and out, moving as water would along the surface. "We took the liberty of… helping you out a little, in that respect, child. You will no longer have to worry about arrows."

Feng took it softly and felt a power deep within it, frowning. "…I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend, but… why would you…-"

"Come."

The two moved outside, and Feng stared at the man as he pointed off in the distance. "Shoot at it."

"Sir, I don't know if you _heard me_, but I don't have any-"

"Just pretend, then."

Feng rolled his eyes but did as instructed, taking aim at the zombie as it stumbled about. As soon as it stopped, Feng released the 'arrow' – and to his surprise, an arrow shot out from nowhere and struck the zombie in the temple. It collapsed with a dull thud as Feng whirled around, looking for anyone behind him. He was alone with the elder.

"You see, Feng, you will no longer need arrows to use this bow. They will be provided for you. Makes things easier now, doesn't it?"

"…Y…Yes sir."

Before Feng could even _begin_ to wrap his head around events, his arm was taken and he was lead through the village, to a small home on the far end.

"You may rest here. I'm sure you would like your time alone?"

"…I suppose…"

The man frowned. "You do not wish to be alone?"

"I've been alone for months. I could use a little company."

The man laughed softly, nodding and closing the door behind them. "Alright then – I have no pressing matters. Sit, sit. I will keep you company.

Feng set the bow in the corner of the room and sat on the small bed, tilting his head as he looked up at the stars through a window in the ceiling.

"So… Who's Notch, anyway?" Feng asked, moving his attention back to the elder. The man blinked before chuckling.

"He is the creator of this world, the man who protects us all."

Feng closed his eyes, sighing and shaking his head. "…So… a God, then."

"If that is what a God is where you come from, then yes."

"Much like my own, I suppose."

"…What _are you_ exactly? You look human, but you have a sort of… aura around you that suggests otherwise."

Feng chuckled, leaning back against the wall as he stretched his legs in the air. "I am an Elemental. Salamander to be exact."

"And exactly what is a… 'Salaimander'?"

"_Salamander_. No 'I' in there."

"My apologies."

"Don't worry about it. It's hard to explain, anyway… I suppose the only major difference between us and the others is our ability to use fire. See, I used to be able to summon fire to my palms. All of my people can. But for some reason… it won't work, here." He sighed and shook his head, biting his lip. "…I want to go _home_. I miss my friends, I miss my family. Shit, I even miss my _job_."

The elder moved closer, frowning and staring at him. "And just what was your job?"

"I was a model at Camyra – well, I suppose you don't know what Camyra is – but it's just an agency that recruits men and women of all kinds to model clothing lines or the like."

"…That sounds frivolous."

Feng blinked in confusion before breaking out into laughter, planting his feet back on the ground and setting his elbow on his knees. "Yeah… that was just the sort of world I lived in. It was nothing like… like _this_. There were buildings, as tall as the skies! Music, dancing, cars – there were so many place in the world, so much to do and yet you could never do it all in one lifetime. So much beauty in the world that I could never see…"

"There is beauty here as well,"

"Yes… I've seen it, once or twice. But it isn't home. At home, I don't have to worry about something exploding behind me."

This seemed to catch the elder's attention more than anything, his eyes widening slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Those… green… things. We don't have things like that. Sure, there are dangers – there always are – but in the city the things we fear are each other, but… well it's hard to understand if you're not there, I guess. Nevermind."

Eyes focused on him and the uncomfortable silence reined. Feng shifted nervously, glancing back at him with an unsure chuckle.

"…We must find Steve." The elder spoke. Feng blinked and looked back at him, lips parting slightly.

"…Eh? But-"

"You wish to go home, yes?"

"…Y-yeah…"

"Perhaps he will know why you are here. And perhaps he will know how to get you _back_."


	7. Starry Eyed

**Agh. After that mess of a chapter before this, I hope you're still keeping with me. xD I promise, It'll get better! At least… I hope it will. Whatever. Let's go!**

**Best part about this chapter? You guys get to meet not only Feng's _lovely_ parents (Seriously. I think you'll love the mother) but also his darling son.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Six**_

_**Starry Eyed**_

* * *

_Thud_.

Andy growled and stared at the steering wheel as the car slowed to a halt (or rather, it screeched). The little box in the backseat containing the objects Feng had put together some time ago hit the floorboards and he visibly paled, irritation lining every expression he made, including the smile he gave his lover in the passenger seat.

"…Maybe I should drive, next time." Seth spoke carefully, giving the Sylph a nervous smirk.

Andy shook his head. "No. It's fine. I can handle it. I wouldn't have stopped so fast if that _fucking squirrel_ hadn't leapt out."

Said animal hopped onto the car, staring at the man in the driver's seat. Blue eyes met brown and the little furry creature moved slightly. "…"

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY CAR." Andy hissed, honking the horn – the squirrel scurried away, chattering as it did. Seth blinked in shock before stifling a laugh.

"Well. At least we know you aren't a Gnome…-"

"I'd hope not, my entire life would be a fucking lie. Help me with that damned box."

Seth sighed and unbuckled the seatbelt, hopping out of the opened door. Andy did the same; swinging open the back doors with such fury one would have imagined he could pull the thing right off its hinges. "Easy there, tiger." Seth cooed, grinning at his lover from across the way, "I don't want to have to pay for _another_ bill relating to that damned car. Again."

"You? Please. I paid for it."

Seth scoffed, assisting the brunette with hauling the box out of the car, pushing while the other pulled.

In just a few moments the box flopped out of the car, thudding against the ground noisily, but to both men's relief, the box did not spill its contents about the ground. "How the _hell_ does Feng do this every month?"

Seth shrugged. "Alone, at that. You know how he is."

"…Do you think maybe he's in the forest?"

"Doubtful. You said it yourself. He'd have told somebody."

Andy sighed softly and leaned, grabbing at little toys and seeds, things he had never thought an Elemental out in the forest would need. Still, Feng had placed them in the box – they must have meant _something_.

As Andy attempted to pick up the box, Seth scoffed. "Andy. You aren't in the city anymore. You can have a little… _help_."

"…I can? You won't report it?" he asked curiously, and Seth scoffed.

"Please. You know just as well as I do that the forest is well beyond my jurisdiction… everything that happens here is none of my business." He gave a sly grin, watching Andy laugh and focus his hands on the box – before long, a loud gust of air pushed the box up. Seth worried quietly of Andy's dwindling power but knew it'd be pointless to argue with him – no matter the situation, it would always be the same answer –

"I'm fine, Seth."

"…I didn't say anything."

"You had that… _look_."

* * *

They were silent for most of the walk – the only sound was that of their feet and the contained gusts beneath the box. Their hands still held onto each side, which added even _more_ control, but it was now considerably lighter. Moments like this, Andy was rather happy that he'd been born a Sylph.

"Andrew Falion, is that you?" a woman called, her boisterous voice pulling Andy from his quiet contemplation.

"…Aah! Mary, how nice to see you again." Andy smiled at the seamstress' assistant and bowed respectively. "Just on our way to pay a visit to Feng's family. You know how he is about sending supplies."

The woman nodded, her blond curls bouncing on her head as she laughed, throwing her head back. "Yes, yes, but – how is the boy, anyway? I haven't seen him for a while."

Andy frowned nervously, and Seth shifted his weight. The officer cleared his throat, directing her attention to him. "…I'm afraid he's gone missing, ma'am. We can't find him, but I'm sure he's around here somewhere."

Mary seemed calm, despite the brief flash of worry in her eyes. "Oh dear… Olivia will not be happy to hear that, no, sir."

Andy nodded, sighing and shaking his head softly. "No… I don't think his father will, either. Not sure about Glen."

Seth put his hand on the other's shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I'm sure he'll be fine – they aren't close."

"…But he's still his father."

* * *

Olivia watched her son play with her grandson, the latter of the two quietly laughing when the other tripped over his own feet. She had been rather content with sitting in silence as her mate worked – but seeing a familiar face had gotten her to stand abruptly, smiling happily. "Andrew!"

"Olivia," the brunette smiled and accepted her hug and kiss to the cheek, repeating her action and bowing to Feng's father respectfully. "I've brought the supplies Feng had gotten together for you,"

"Oh, that boy worries too much," the older man laughed but took the box – Andy had to fight the glare as he realized that he could carry it with not even a trace of trouble. Seth smirked but said nothing, leaning against a tree quietly as he waited.

"Speaking of," Olivia started, her hands buried into the box as she pulled a few things out as soon as her lover had set it down, "where is my Fliairio?"

Andy frowned. Seth cleared his throat.

"…Err…"

Olivia stood slowly, black hair waving as she narrowed her eyes. "…where is my baby?" she asked, her voice trembling. By now silence had taken over the little camp, Feng's family nervously turning their attention to the conversation.

"…Gone, ma'am. I don't know where. We can't find him." Andy broke the news, and Seth winced.

Probably _not_ the gentlest way to go about telling the city-fearing woman-

"My _Baby_!" Olivia cried, her eyes brimming with tears. "You promised me it would all be over, Andrew! You promised me you would watch over him!"

"Olivia, I-"

"After that Undine nearly took him away from me I though it was the end of the trouble. Would you care to _explain to me_ why he's-"

"I don't know!" Andy's voice broke as he attempted to calm the woman and Olivia silenced, her hand dropping as she fell against her mate. He covered her lips and closed her eyes, shaking her head.

Glen was quiet, his cerulean eyes downcast, black hair shielding his face as he trembled. He was always this way around anybody but his grandparents and his father – quiet, alone, and often he retreated completely. But not now. Instead, he clenched his fist and looked up slowly, his youthful face reddening with the tears threatening to come down.

"Is Papa going to be okay?" he asked, the young voice coming out in a steady, if a little scared, stream of speech.

Andy remained mute for a moment before smiling, leaning down to the child and setting a hand on his shoulder. "He'll be fine, Glen. He'll be okay."

Seth was leaned over the box in an attempt to keep himself from speaking – he wasn't familiar with the family, and as he had been around Andy's family for a long while, chose silence over attempting to speak. His thought process was 'if they wish to know me, they will'. And it had worked like a charm.

He moved a small tin out of the way with a light _ting_ before his fingers caught something soft, furry. Blinking in confusion he pulled it up, noting a small ribbon wrapped around its neck and a letter attached.

_To Glen_.

Seth gave a slow smile, recognizing the toy. He turned to face Glen and Andy, the former having collapsed into tears of fear and the latter attempting to console him. The officer shifted uneasily for but a moment before taking his place next to the Sylph, patting Glen's shoulder.

"Hey. I know things seem bad now, but… your father will be home soon. He wanted us to give you this." He held the toy out, slim fingers grasping the arm lightly, relinquishing his hold when Glen wrapped his own hands around it. "…it was given to him when he was in the hospital, when you were born. He kept it around. He wants you to have it – he cherished it, and now you will, too. It's important to him, take care of it."

Glen pulled it closer to his chest, fingers squeezing on its head. The bear's fuzzy skin caved in and Seth chuckled, patting the boy's head and ruffling his hair. "Don't worry. I'll find him. It's my job, after all, both as a police officer… _and_ a friend."

Glen smiled.

"Find my daddy. Please."

"I will."


	8. Memory Two: Kiss Me

**Just letting you know…**

**This chap made me want to cry. Only reason is through the whole thing, I was listening to 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran. Trust me. It's worth it. Go find it. Go buy it. Do whatever. Just listen to it. You won't regret it. ;-;**

**Of course, maybe it's just because I know everything that happens between the two. Idunno.**

**Saying this again, because I just want to be safe – Max is _not_ mine! He was created by my friend, and I just love him so much. He's a stubborn little bastard, but I still love him~**

**And if said friend is reading this, I'm sorry that Max is a bit OOC. ;-; **

**Onward!**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Memory Two**_

"_**Kiss Me"**_

* * *

Feng curled into himself, sweat dripping from his brow in response to his very recent nightmare.

He couldn't forget it. He just couldn't – no matter how he tried the eyes of his tormenter haunted him even in his sleep, deep blue mocking his very existence. She laughed – oh how she laughed! – As he sobbed, bound by the wrists against the walls and floor, the gag between his lips, blood dripping from his cheek. He'd tried to recover, but still, three years on, he'd yet to forget it. He supposed he never would – the birth of his son had been the only light in the ordeal, and even that was short lived.

He had _her_ eyes.

He'd found himself recoiling away from his own child, his own DNA. The expression the child always wore broke Feng's heart every time, and he hated himself for causing it. Though the boy was only two – almost three, he reminded himself with mild surprise – years of age, and still, he understood that his Papa was avoiding him.

Feng's mother wanted another child to nurture.

Feng wanted nothing to do with his son.

They both won.

Right? Didn't they both win?

_What about Glen? What about **your** son, **your **progeny! You are supposed to be there next to him, nurturing him, teaching him. And yet you sit here in your own fucking self-pity, fearing something that is long over!_

Feng released a short sob at his own insults toward himself, clenching his fists.

_This… **this**, Feng, is why nobody wants you. This is why you are **alone**. Even Andy is getting sick of your shit. You're lucky you still have a job._

Feng sighed shakily, wiping his tears as he sniffled, stealing a glance at the clock.

He groaned.

It wasn't even six yet, and even worse, Andy would be home from work soon.

He couldn't face the man like this. Not again.

But he knew one person who…-

_Don't even go there. **He** doesn't want you, either. He's holding you at arms length for a reason._

But he didn't have anybody else. This was his last option. His last chance.

He grabbed his phone, calming himself quickly and dialing the number.

"Hey… Max? You busy?"

* * *

Feng held the drink in his hands as he took a seat on the couch, sighing softly. Max chewed on his lip absently before taking a sip of his own drink, sniffing as Feng attempted to bring the subject he wanted to the conversation.

Finally, the younger male spoke.

"Max…"

The man looked over, brows raised in acknowledgement and question. Feng took in a breath. "Yes?"

"…I don't know who else to turn to." Feng murmured, taking a slow drink of the wine. "I can't go to Andy, he's had it up to here," he held his hand flatly over his head, "with my bullshit." He sighed, his eyes burning. Max became visibly uncomfortable, frowning slightly. "I don't even know why I need somebody to talk to, it's just… it's just that every time I try to deal with it on my own, I… I just get so… so…-"

"Depressed?" Max offered, regretting his words when Feng let out a choked sob, setting the glass on the coffee table. "…Feng…-"

"I want my life the way it used to be. Before you. Before Miles. Shit, before – before my sister died. Before _all of that_, I want to go back to my childhood, save her, I don't know…"

"Feng, everything-"

"Happens for a reason? I _know_, but… but what's the reason behind _this_? What's the logic of throwing me through fucking hoops just to move them every time I get close to making it through?"

Max sighed. His four years of knowing Feng (perhaps one would say only three, but who was counting?) taught him multiple things, but one stood out above the rest in a time of crisis.

He was _awful_ in a time of crisis. He would try to stay strong – Max had to commend him for that at least – but when all was said and done he was still a child, part of the reason he had broken up with the boy in the first place. Well that and they had been far too different to work out in the long run. He looked through the corner of his eye at Feng, who had covered his eyes and curled his feet up on the couch, making himself as small as possible.

"…Max, I can't forget what she did to me."

Ah. That's what this was about. He himself remembered that fear, that near-hopelessness of watching – and listening – to his at-the-time lover on the phone, a video sent by the killer herself. He remembered that sound, the gunshot, and his boyfriend crawling on the grass, pleading to either save him or…-

"_Please… please, just kill me…_"

He shook the memory away, watching Feng as he calmed slowly, leaning over to set his head against Max's shoulder. Part of the man wanted to shrug him off – _too close , _his mind screamed – but the other part forced him to stay still, let Feng do what he wanted, so long as it didn't get out of hand.

And for that reason, he put his arm awkwardly around Feng's shoulders in a half-assed hug. But it was more than enough – Feng took what was offered and hiccupped, clinging to the shirt tightly as he attempted to bring himself closer and closer to the point of fusion, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm _so so sorry_…-"

"Feng." Max hissed, sighing and softening his words when the youth stiffened and attempted to pull away. The older man only pulled him closer, closing his eyes and setting his chin on his head. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault. I'm sorry that of all the people in Saol, this had to happen to _you_."

The words struck a chord, a memory, and Feng chuckled, pulling away once he was allowed. Max had that trademark smirk, brown eyes gleaming in amusement. Feng closed his eyes before opening them and tilting his head, leaning forward to plant a small kiss on the man's slightly stubbled cheek. Max remained still as stone, patting Feng's knee. "Now. Let's talk about this," Max started cautiously, watching the other's eyes for a reaction. "Why can't you bother Andy, again? Surely your best friend is better for this than me."

Feng rolled his eyes. "Max. You pretty much _are_ my best friend, now. You know me better than Andy does and you've known me only a fraction of the time."

Max shrugged, earning a small smile from the Salamander beside him. "I just… am I doing the right thing? With Glen, I mean."

"You mean sending him off to live with your parents?"

Feng winced. "…Now that you say it out loud, I'm an _awful_ father."

"…Feng, I can't say it's the _right_ thing – but I can see why you did it. I understand. Something like that… I would imagine you don't just forget it like it never happened. And seeing as he looks just like her…"

Feng nodded slowly, downing the last of his drink before departing to refill his glass. After a moment's hesitation he brought the bottle with him, laughing at Max's surprised expression.

"I'll get you another bottle, Max, I promise." Feng teased, and Max pursed his lips in frustration for a moment before blowing air out one sight of his mouth, scoffing.

"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm afraid you'll drink yourself to Death."

"At this point it may be an improvement,"

Feng winced. Max inhaled sharply, turning his gaze back on the youth. "Feng." Max warned, and the Salamander nodded.

"I know. I know… 'Don't say that'. You and Andy say nearly the same things every time, you know that?"

"Because we both want what's best for you, and Death is _not it_. Feng you have your whole life ahead of you. You're only… what, twenty?"

"Almost twenty-two."

"Ah. Damn, I was close."

"Close enough for me,"

"Mm. Anyway, you said… you said Salamanders like you live to sixty, right?"

"Around that, yeah."

"Then you have a goal."

"Yeah?"

"Live to seventy. Live longer. And I don't mean just 'survive' – I mean _live._ I know it's awful Feng. I know. But you have to pick yourself back up and _move on_. The city doesn't stop for anyone, and you know it. If you lay down you'll only get run over."

Feng nodded, swirling his glass uncomfortably as Max's eyes averted Feng's face once again, his hand lifting to scratch in his hair.

Silence passed between them. Feng had gone through another three glasses by the time he'd spoken again.

"…You know, I still have that little stuffed bear the hospital gave me after Glen was born." Feng murmured, laughing when Max gave him a surprised, 'Really?'

"Mm. I aah… I sleep with it, sometimes. Hold it. It's always by the bed."

Max found his lips turning upward into a smile, watching Feng's eyes light up.

"I'd always wanted kids, Max. Really. I wanted to be a father, make a child's life wonderful, make up for the shit I had to put up with. I knew it would be stress, but I wanted to be a father. I just didn't think… I didn't think _that_ would cause it."

"I know."

"Even so…" he laughed, looking up as he broke into a fresh set of tears – unlike before, they were tears of not fear, but _happiness_. "I remember when the little thing was pushed out. I didn't watch, obviously, I was too nervous. But once I saw him… once I heard him crying… I had to. I had to look. The whole time I'd been looking down, just so I didn't have to see her, but once I heard him I didn't care. I thought I'd been fearing his birth, but I…I guess I…"

He smiled. "…I loved him before he was even born."

Max nodded, laughing. "Sappy little bitch," he joked, and the humor hit home – Feng gave a happy giggle, digging in his pocket for a moment.

"The only picture I have of him. They took it shortly after he was all cleaned up. It has _her_ in it, but I rarely notice."

Max took the photo and held it to his face, laughing. Feng had looked so happy – and nervous, but one couldn't blame him – that day. He remembered watching the boy pace back and forth in the waiting room, and once she had gone into labor, he had sped down the hall. It took himself and Andy – as well as the doctor assisting in the birth – to find him again, waiting outside the door for permission, bouncing on his heels with both nervousness and a childish excitement akin to a toddler getting a new toy. Once given he'd walked in, and Max and Andy waited in a second waiting room. From there he only knew how the Salamander had acted by snippets of conversation overheard from doctors in attendance – Feng had stood in the corner, eyes at the floor, without a smile or even holding the woman's hand. They had stated Feng was a terrible boyfriend, but he was certain that if they knew the truth they'd have cut him some slack. They'd said that once the child had made it, he visibly perked up, nervously asking if he could see him. And once they'd given him permission to hold him… That was it. He was gone.

Feng had named him Glen. Ankh agreed.

Max hadn't seen him happier since. It wasn't until the child became a couple months old that he'd recoiled, noting the hair and eyes together all at once, the high he'd been riding finally coming to an abrupt end.

From there, everyone knew the story. Feng became fearful of his own child, unable to look at him for too long, soon becoming nervous and frightened upon seeing the boy's eyes. It wasn't long before he'd been given custody of the child and Feng immediately took him to his parents, giving _them_ temporary custody, just until Feng recovered. The boy said it himself.

But he never did.

Three years and counting, and Feng had yet to recover. Max was wondering if he ever would, not at the rate it had been going.

The few times he'd gone with Feng to visit Glen, the boy was always babbling, but never crying. Always squealing, but never screaming. All he wanted was his father's love and occasionally Feng gave it – which Glen responded to by flailing his arms about before wrapping them tightly around Feng's neck.

He handed the picture back.

"He may look like his mother," Max remarked, glancing at Feng. Feng wasn't looking at him but he could tell just by his expression that he was listening. "…but he certainly has his father's personality."

Feng smiled.

* * *

Feng walked down the cold streets, clutching his jacket tightly to his frame. He crossed at the light and jogged briefly to the edge of the forest. Quite the hike, but worth it in the end – he entered the small camp and spotted his mother immediately. Olivia looked up at him and smiled, welcoming her favorite son with a large hug and a kiss on the corner of his lips, which Feng's father followed with shortly after.

Feng walked to the small home, pushing aside the blanket covering the door and sitting before his son, gulping quietly. Glen sputtered, holding out his arms as Feng neared, and the blond took hold of the child with gentle hands, lifting him and setting him on his hip. "Hey there, buddy." Feng whispered, aware of his breath smelling of alcohol. If his parents had noticed, they hadn't said anything.

"Dada!" The child shouted, clinging onto Feng's shoulders with his little fingers. Feng smiled and sat against the bedding and closed his eyes, setting the child between his legs and wrapping them around him, holding him closer as he rocked.

"Yeah, Glen… Daddy's here… Daddy's never going anywhere…"


	9. Memory Three: City of Sin

**Hey! Another memory comin' at you. Sorry if some of these seem confusing! They aren't in any particular order but they are of importance if you have any hope of understanding Feng. xD Finally found the MP3 of City of Sin by Escape the Fate, which was designated as the 'theme' for the original role-play… and the inspiration for Feng himself~ So I just had to include this memory in here, I'd like you to see what he was like before the crazy shit with the murderer n' stuffs.**

**So who do _you_ like more? The current Feng trapped in the Minecraft world, or this Feng, before everything went wrong?**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Memory Three**_

"_**City of Sin"**_

* * *

Feng swung his hips as he exited the stage, smirking as the eyes had focused on him. The barely-there clothes had finally found their way back to his skin and he yawned, making his way to his dressing room.

The room was small – but it had everything he needed. Uniforms, a little mirror, an attached bathroom – all he could ever need while he worked, which was… well, most of the time, anymore. But he couldn't complain – he _loved_ his job. It was exhausting, yes, and sometimes it was just plain irritating when he got his tests, but the side job helped pay the bills. His adoptive father didn't exactly know it was going on – he was under the impression that the Salamander had stopped the rebellious behavior long ago.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Feng smirked, leaning against the door as his client knocked on the door. "…Daniel, right?" he whispered seductively, and the man nodded, smiling excitedly. A hand wrapped around the man's collar and Feng yanked him into the room, closing the door behind him and locking it. "Sit right there, little Danny. I'll take care of you. You… _do_ have the cash… right?"

"Of course." Daniel grinned, lifting the money in his hands, before Feng grinned, plucking the bills from the man's fingers despite his brief argument.

"Ah-ah-ah… You know the deal. Pay up front. I wouldn't cheat you out of your money… it'll be well worth it." Feng grinned and sank to his knees, watching Daniel's face pale and his lips part. "…good boy."

* * *

Feng lifted the cigarette to his lips, looking down from the roof as Andy sat next to him.

"Same old story, huh?" Andy asked lightly, looking at Feng as he took another puff.

"What do you mean, _Andrew_?"

"…Well, I see you leave the stage, go to your back room. Next thing I know some guy is leaving and you leave a few minutes after. And I repeat. Same old story, huh?"

Feng chuckled; smoke blown out between his lips. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Doesn't it ever get… I don't know… boring?"

Feng let out a loud laugh, his eyes glittering. "Boring? Sex? Never! Andy you know better than that, don't you?"

"Yeah… yeah, I guess it was pretty stupid to ask." Andy shook his head and watched Feng take another drag, using two fingers to flick the object from his grasp soon after, blowing out the remaining smoke.

Feng's blond hair waved as he took on a more mischievous personality, his hands grasping Andy's shoulders. He leaned over the man's head with a grin, his lips placed directly behind Andy's ear.

"You know…" Feng murmured, his breath brushing flesh and Andy shivered, instinctively looking back to face him – he came nose-to-nose with the Salamander, the younger male's bi-colored eyes burning with lust, "…isn't your house empty?"

"…Yes, Rins is visiting her parents… why?"

"You've seemed _so_ stressed, Andy… I think I can help you."

Andy found himself unable to argue with the innocent grin that followed.


	10. Young

**I am just pumping out the chapters. xD I guess that happens when you're fueled on like two hours of sleep and an endless bowl of tangy Carolina barbeque chips.**

**And… it's that moment to put _my_ spin on Minecraft. It's about time that Minecraft gets just a _little _more disturbing…**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Seven**_

_**Young**_

* * *

Feng held the pickaxe shakily, gulping. "Err… are you… are you _sure_ about this?"

"I am certain, young one. Just go. You will be fine. You have the torches?"

"Y…yeah."

"Water?"

"Yessir."

"Weapons?"

"Aye."

"Food?"

"Yes."

"You will be fine." The elder smiled sweetly before pushing softly on Feng's back, coaxing him to move forward.

Feng slid into the cave, touching the sword's hilt as it rested at his hip. It was eerily silent down here – not a thing made a sound, silence nearly deafening him. He gulped again, forcing himself to relax as he set to work.

* * *

It had been more exhausting than he'd imagined, but he'd made it – or at least, he thought he had. He'd heard mentions of 'Abandoned Mineshafts' – and he hadn't expected to find one.

And yet here he was.

Even more disturbing was the state it was in. Water flooded what, from what he could tell, were once railways. Torches still flickered eerily from corners, and as he sloshed through the water and plugged up each hole, Feng found himself drawn to every bit of light he could find, as if it cured the insanity that was slowly leaking into his brain.

What had _happened_ here? Cobwebs had grown in corners and along the railways, a mine cart carrying various items (though none he could conceivably carry, or any that he particularly wanted) still sitting in the center of one rail. He turned slowly, carrying his own torch with a nervous gulp.

_Crack_

Feng whirled around, watching a flash of blue disappear around the corner he'd passed.

"Wait!" He shouted, seeing the humanoid shape just long enough to know it was one just like him.

He raced after it, huffing heavily as he attempted to keep up. He wheeled around the corner and stopped.

A dead end.

He _knew _he'd seen them dart away from him – so where did they go?

As he walked, searching to his left and right, he failed to look up, not noticing the hungry dark eyes watching him.

"Damn." He muttered, sighing and holding his head. Surely he'd simply imagined it – he'd been in the dark for far too long. It was time to head up.

But he'd been told to search chests in Abandoned Mineshafts, hadn't he? It might have very good things…

He sighed, returning to his search. He must have gone down multiple corridors before he'd finally found what he'd been looking for – a brown chest, set against the wall. His stomach flipped and he grinned, rushing to it and pushing the lid up.

_He screamed. _

_Little spiders crawled frantically out of the box and he leapt back, flailing his arms in attempts to shake them off. They crawled all over him, under his clothes, rising higher and higher._

_They crawled into his ears._

_They crawled over his eyes._

_They crawled into his mouth, the little legs scurrying over his tongue as he gagged, eyes watering as he writhed on the stone. He looked up; eyes rolling back as little teeth pierced his skin all over, including the back of his throat. Searing pain ripped through him as the spiders continued to feast, tearing off layers of skin. He could almost hear them laughing as more and more crawled over him and into his body, taking up residence, blocking his flow of air. He gagged, spitting up spiders and blood and spit, rolling onto his side as he attempted to get onto his belly, to crawl away. _

_Feet. They were right in front of him, but he hadn't the time to look up before the pain came rushing in, bashing at his head again, and again, and again, blood pooling beneath him from the wound._

_He-_

Feng gasped, slamming the trunk closed. He looked down at his flesh, breath caught in his throat as he rubbed at the exposed skin.

No spiders.

Not even a sign of one.

Trembling he nearly neglected to open the box again but he breathed in, standing and turning to face the opposite direction, standing behind it.

He forced the lid open again.

Nothing came out.

Breathing a sigh of relief he looked into the box, using his torch for light.

He gasped.

Diamonds. Eight of them, to be exact.

Laughing and grasping each gem happily, he stuffed them into the bag on his back, finding nothing more of value. He knew – he just _knew_ – that the elder would be rather excited to see the turnout.

Standing fully he closed the trunk, turning back the way he came, following torches on his way.

_Skkttch…_

Feng stopped, twirling on his feet to look behind him.

Yet again, the same silhouette passed into a path he _knew_ was a dead-end. He frowned.

"This is complete _bullshit_," he muttered, continuing on his way. As he turned he failed to hear the little scratching of long legs.

As he made his way for the surface, he felt something drip on his face. Thinking it to be water he wiped it off and thought nothing of it.

It was only while lowering his hand that he spotted the black.

He blinked, bringing his hand to his face once more, allowing the torch to light the way.

Black liquid? He could faintly smell decay, the scent of rotting flesh. He would never forget that scent for the rest of his days, and to smell it again…

He didn't want to look up. He did _not_ want to look up but curiosity had gotten the better of him.

His head tilted back.

He couldn't bring himself to scream. The horror stared back at him through bulging black eyes, the lids kept wide open by what looked like wire, sewn into the flesh. Stringy black hair framed its face, stopping far below the shoulders, had the Creature stood upright. Instead, the hair fell to his face as the horrible thing peered down at him from its space on the ceiling.

Another droplet. He looked past the wide-awake eyes to its maw, and he let out a low moan of both disgust and fear. Its bottom jaw had somehow been pulled from its skull, disgusting bits of flesh hanging from its face, the tongue waggling madly to lick the lips that no longer existed. He felt like screaming, like running, like crying. But he couldn't. Frozen by fear, he stood and watched the naked thing lean closer to him, its bones cracking fiercely. He tried to keep his eyes on its face, as horrible as it was. He felt as if he _had_ to; if he turned his back on the ugly thing, it would surely devour him with not even a second thought. It reached his face and he tried not to grimace as its foul breath whispered over his skin. He relinquished control, only for a moment, to look upon its body.

It twisted, as if it _knew_ what he was doing, and allowed him a better view.

Pale flesh marked with various cuts and bruises greeted him and he shuddered when he watched the tight skin glide over protruding ribs with each breath. Its distended stomach and chest was pushed outward toward him, and he gagged, noticing with pure terror that its feet were still planted firmly on the ceiling, as if kept there by suctions on its extremities, the knees bent in the opposite direction, must like a spider. Thin, bony arms, fragile fingers—

The thing moved, and Feng's eyes snapped back into focus, staring at its face once more. It seemed to snarl at him through the darkness, moving even closer. He trembled. He stepped back, beginning to turn and run in a final desperate attempt at escape.

It roared.

Feng sprinted toward the light, heaving as the Thing crawled after him. He didn't want to look back – but he did, chancing a glance behind him.

Hundreds of them. _Hundreds_ of these things, screaming at him as he raced away. He lifted the sword from his place at his side and pulled it up, batting at one of the things when it became too close. It yelled in pain and fell from the ceiling, shriveling up into a ball and staying there.

_At least I know they're weak…_ he thought, but it was no consolation.

He burst into the surface and into the light. The Things had given up the chase someplace back behind him but he made no move to find out _where_.

He heaved as he fell to his knees, his vision blurring. The moon was beginning to rise and he let out a pained shout, hitting the ground.

Villagers rushed out to help him, but the boy had already closed his eyes, groaning as he clutched his belly, breathing heavily in attempts to bring back the air he'd lost and regulate his intake.

* * *

"What _happened_ in there, boy?" the elder asked, but Feng only stared out the window, face pale and lips parted.

"….Feng?"

"Nothing."

"We need somebody to go mining again in the mor-"

"I am not going back there. And neither should you." Feng hissed, and while the elder reeled back he did not respond, surprise in his eyes before they softened, sitting next to him.

"…What did you see."

It wasn't a question.

It was a demand.

It took less than five minutes to explain, but even with that Feng was attempting to block the memories out. It was too much, too fast. The elder stood, said something that Feng could not understand. A man nodded. They both left.

Feng fell back on the bed and closed his eyes, sighing softly. Once the elder returned, he opened them, focusing on the man.

"…I brought back diamonds, though." He murmured, smiling. "…They're in the pack."

"That's wonderful!" the elder shouted, clapping his hands together and grabbing the bag from the corner of the room.

"Oh, and Feng?" he said, just as he turned to leave. Feng looked up.

"…Steve will arrive tomorrow."


	11. Salt, Sweat, Sugar

**Alright! Now that the Mineshaft scene is out of the way for now, I can move on! That idea had been fluttering in my head since I started this fic. **

**And my dog won't leave me alone, so this chapter might be a little half-assed. I'm trying. D:**

**Here we go! Oh, Steve… you really have your hands full with this one.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Eight**_

_**Salt, Sweat, Sugar**_

* * *

Feng sat on the steps, frowning nervously. The villagers smiled at him as they passed, saying their early goodbyes. Feng nodded to each one, smiling awkwardly back at them, tapping his foot against the ground.

He'd spaced out after some time, thinking of his life in Saol. Of Andy and Max, specifically. He wondered just how they were acting with him gone.

If they even noticed.

How long had it been, for them? Had it been only hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Or, by some horrible twist of fate, had it been _years_? Would he return home only to find his son to be nearing thirty, like himself, and his friends long gone?

He wasn't sure what his reaction would be if he returned to find them dead. They were both so important to him… It just wouldn't be fair.

"Mister?"

Feng looked up at a little boy, brown hair messy and matching eyes bright. Freckles scattered around his nose and cheeks, a toothy grin on his face. Feng smiled warmly, giving the youth his attention. "Yes?"

"I hope Savior Steve will take you home."

Feng smiled softly, patting the child's head. "Oh, I'm sure Steve will do just that. He sounds like a brilliant man."

Just what did Steve look like? In Feng's mind, he looked tall and strong, a graceful and elegant face, filled with dignity and power. He imagined him with gray eyes and slightly grayed hair, but mostly black. He imagined muscle.

He certainly didn't expect what he was greeted with.

A male of average height, brown hair and matching eyes. His face was the very definition of neutrality, apathetic to everything around him. He was similar to Feng's own slender build, though the muscles on his body had separated him from Feng himself. Though the grace and dignity had been correct, it seemed as if _nothing_ else had.

Feng stood.

"Is this the one?" Steve asked, his voice deep and gravelly. Feng had expected something softer, gentler.

"Yes, Steve. This is Feng. Feng, this is Steve."

Feng smiled weakly and held out his hand, watching the brunette take it, shaking his hand roughly. Feng jolted with the strength and released a short laugh.

"Take good care of him, Steve. He is a remarkable young man, just as you were."

Steve smiled, and Feng grinned. Now _that_ was more like it – the man should smile more often. He looked nicer that way.

"I will, Elder. Don't worry. Come, Feng." Steve spoke smoothly, motioning the youth to follow. Feng nodded and grabbed the pack he'd been given, following quickly behind the male.

Giving one last wave goodbye, they disappeared beyond view.

* * *

Steve sat across from Feng before the crackling fire, the man frowning slightly. He sipped at the mushroom stew, watching Feng do the same.

"…Elder tells me you ran into some trouble yesterday, in the Mines."

Feng paled. "Aah… Yes. I suppose… I suppose I did."

"…" Steve cleared his throat, moving closer to the Salamander. "…Did you see Him too?" he whispered, looking around them.

"H…Him?" Feng choked, looking back on his 'adventure'. "…I remember seeing… _someone_, but I never got a clear look."

Steve cursed under his breath, shaking his head. "Nevermind, then. Come on, we need to get our sleep."

Feng nodded.

* * *

"Nice shot, kid," Steve praised, laughing as the cow fell. "You certainly don't look like you can hunt, but I suppose looks can be deceiving."

"Tell me about it," Feng smiled, walking next to Steve as the man gathered the cow. He took one side, the brunette took the other.

"So…" Steve started, watching Feng as he blinked and looked back over at him. "…What city do you come from?"

Feng's eyes brightened. "Saol."

"Saol? Really?"

"Mhm. About a half-hour from Lani."

Steve laughed.

"I had an Aunt who lived in Saol for a while. Crazy place, that city."

"Mm." Feng watched as Steve opened up a little more, following his lead as they set the cow down on stone, Steve brandishing a blade. Feng did the same.

As they carved into their meal it was silent, but as soon as they finished, Feng sat back on his heels, frowning. "…What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Where did _you_ come from?"

"New York, New York." Steve responded, chuckling as Feng smirked.

"I thought I recognized the accent."

"And I recognized yours. You aren't human, are you."

Well.

That was _blunt_.

Feng smiled weakly, shaking his head.

"No… I may as well be, now. Can't use my fire here."

"Aah. Salamander, huh?"

"Mm."

"I see. I noticed the pull as soon as I saw you."

Feng's smile faded. "…I'm sorry."

"For?"

"I don't mean to."

"I know. It's just your nature. After all, Elementals are beautiful and exotic to humans. It's only natural and it isn't in your control."

"Yeah. I know, it's just… I don't know. When people become attracted to me and I don't know them it just… it makes me uncomfortable."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not interested in men."

Feng laughed. "No, but… thanks for trying."

* * *

Thunder. It had masked the screaming rather well, and it took several moments before Feng realized what had happened.

"Steve!" Feng cried, spotting the tanned male lying on the grass, his eyes squeezed shut as he clutched a wound on his leg. "Jesus- are you alright!? No, no, that's a stupid question…- Come on, let's go."

The zombie had been killed shortly before Feng arrived, he'd learned – which was a relief to him. At least he didn't have to deal with it.

He dragged the man into their makeshift home, setting him on the ground. "Don't worry," Feng started, ripping part of his shirt.

_At this rate I won't have a shirt…_

"I'll fix the-"

"Relax," Steve muttered, hissing and touching the wound gingerly. "It'll heal on its own. Just… just get me some of that food."

"What are you- are you joking!? This isn't the time to kid around!"

"It's not a joke, Feng. This world… it's vastly different from ours. Just hand me the food."

Feng sighed and handed him the meat, watching him chew slowly. "So, what, does that food have _magic_ in it?"

"No. I just have to be at full strength for the wound to fix itself."

"I still think this is ridiculous. At least let me bandage it?"

Steve sighed. "Fine, if it'll get you to stop acting like a nervous housewife…"

* * *

Feng set his hand on where the wound had once resided, frowning deeply. "How… how in the hell does that even-"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know." Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair and laying back. "All I know is that it comes in handy sometimes."

"Yeah… that it does." Feng smiled weakly, sitting carefully in the corner. Steve watched him with tired brown eyes, squeezing them closed for a moment as he yawned before cracking them open again.

"So… so how did you know what to do, anyway? You kept going on about 'finding ingredients'."

Feng shrugged. "About that… Well, see, I was meant to be the family's healer. I'd been under my grandmother's wing before I ran away from home."

"…Why did you run away?"

Feng paused, mouth open before slipping it closed and shaking his head. "I'd… I'd rather not talk about that." He murmured, lying down. "We should get some rest. Been a long day."

"Yeah," Steve drawled, leaving the situation alone. "It has. In the morning we'll have to go mining. Don't worry, when there are two of us they won't show up."

Feng had already drifted away.


	12. How Far We've Come

**Back to the city. Let's check up on Andy and Seth, shall we?**

**INCOMING SEXYTIEMS.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Nine**_

_**How Far We've Come**_

* * *

Andy rolled over in the bed, grunting as Seth groaned. "Come _on_, Andy… get some sleep."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, you're just stubborn as fuck." Seth hissed, sighing when Andy curled his head into his arms. "…I'm worried too. But we can't be at our best to find him if we don't sleep. That was the same philosophy I had when I was trying to find Feng's stalker. And we found her."

"Not before she ruined Feng's life forever…"

Seth pursed his lips, rolling over to face his lover. "Andy. Andy listen to me. Feng isn't in any danger. I'm sure he became stressed and took flight. You know he's been suffering nightmares for months now. It's still weighing heavily on him. He'll be _fine_, we just have to find him and then give him the support he needs."

"…What if we're too late?"

Seth frowned. He'd been avoiding that possibility since Andy had discovered Feng's disappearance.

Salamanders were much like dogs. If they felt that they were close to death, they ran away, found someplace quiet and isolated before they perished.

Was Feng the same way? Had he planned on ending his life, was that why he'd disappeared?

Andy's eyes betrayed his calm voice. "Sometimes I wonder if he would be better off that way. He's been suffering so much and I just… I don't know."

"I know. I know… Andy just relax. It won't do any good if you don't _relax_." Seth wrapped his arms around the brunette's shoulders, setting his head on the Sylph's neck.

"If you like, I can give you my famous massage…"

Andy chuckled, shaking his head. "You're crazy."

"Am I?" Seth teased, kissing his lover's neck. "Want me to or no?"

"Please."

* * *

Andy groaned, feeling the hands press even further into his skin. "G-gah! There, there."

"Yeah, I can feel it. Shit, how hard have they been _working_ you?"

Andy chuckled distractedly. "Nngh… Very. Very."

Seth chuckled, leaning down to set his lips on the tip of Andy's ear. As he breathed, the air ran over the flesh of the Sylph's ear and neck. Andy shuddered, letting out a low moan. "Seth…"

"Mm?" Seth grinned, pulling away, much to the annoyance of Andy. "Is there something you need? Water, food-"

"_You_."

The word had been spoken through gritted teeth, no longer muffled by a pillow. He was staring over at the officer with glazed eyes, his face reddened as he at himself up, back against the wall.

Andy smiled giddily as Seth eased his way ever closer, fingers grazing small patches of skin as he moved. "Really now, Andy?" Seth murmured, groaning softly as Andy spread his legs further to accept him, wrapping them around the officer's waist. The men chuckled, and something inside them both snapped – Andy tilted his head and grabbed Seth's hair, pulling him closer and smashing their lips together. Seth, on the other hand, had already set to work on the things keeping them apart, starting with his own shirt. Andy let out a low whimper, feeling Seth groping around for the wall, placing his hand next to Andy's head.

Blue eyes slipped open. Those blue eyes stared into the officer's own darkened brown orbs, taking a silent moment to wonder just _how_ he had gotten so lucky.

He released his hold on the officer and moved his hands to replace them, delving into the soft sleep-wear and boxers, taking a soft grip as Seth hissed, closing his eyes.

"Let the games begin."

* * *

Seth panted, releasing his hold on Andy's hips. "Aah… Seth…" Andy murmured, letting his body flatten against the bed as Seth flopped back onto his pillow, covering his eyes and chuckling.

"Yeah?"

"Have I told you how much I _love_ your massages…?"

"Pretty sure I know, based on the noises you make."

Andy turned to look at him with an unthreatening glare, smacking his arm softly before closing his eyes, cuddling in closer.

"Shut up…"

* * *

Andy stretched, frowning as a customer entered. They were supposed to be _closed_, damn it! They weren't open yet, how hard was that for people to understand?

That frown quickly turned into a smile – he recognized them.

Easily.

"Éclair!" Andy shouted, laughing as the actress looked up, flailing her arms as if attempting to quiet him.

"Éclair, relax. Nobody else is here yet. How did you even get in? I figured I'd have to go out there and let you in myself."

"Let's just say… your guards are big fans." She smiled brightly, brown hair cascading over her shoulders as she took off the hat. "I need to get a haircut…"

"You actually look nice with long hair."

"Yeuch."

Andy rolled his eyes, motioning to a bench. The woman sat next to him, shifting nervously. "…Haven't found him yet, huh?"

"No… no, not yet. But I was hoping you could help us out a little. You have the money and you have the pull."

"Please. You didn't even have to _ask_. I've already mentioned a few times to the police about Feng's disappearance. They've been looking pretty hard."

Andy smiled, wrapping the woman up in his arms with a tight hug. "I knew calling you was a good idea."

"Mm. I'll be mentioning it publicly soon, too, so that'll help _immensely_."

Andy chuckled. "How many times can _one guy_ find himself in trouble?" he wondered aloud, shaking his head.

Éclair giggled, but it died as she looked up. "…My poor nephew… he's been through so much hasn't he?"

"That he has." Andy agreed, rubbing his eyes. "As soon as he comes home we should put him in a bubble for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to keep him out of trouble."

The woman stood and nodded, adjusting her bag. "Well… I should get going. I wish I could stay, Andy, but… well you know how it is."

Andy nodded slowly, setting a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Yeah. I do. Be careful, okay? I'll let you know as soon as something happens."

"You'd better, or I'm coming after your ass."

The Sylph smiled weakly at the human and watched her leave, sighing as she disappeared. He dropped his smile and let his hands rest on the station before him, listening to other workers start up their own.

He huffed, crossing his arms as he leaned forward, soon unfolding one arm to rest his chin in his palm.

"Andrew! Open your damn station!" his boss shouted, and Andy closed his eyes to calm himself before flicking the button, the light glowing.

"Yeah, yeah…"

_Feng… Please be okay…_


	13. Memories 4 through 6: Glimpses

**This… I don't even know what this is. This has nothing to do with the plot, but hopefully it will be just as amusing to you as it was to me.**

**These will be MULTIPLE memories, none of which have any particular order. I'll do my best to indicate age. All of these will be pretty silly and meant to be humorous as well as informative to personalities and characters that will show up later, so none of them are too serious. **

**Sorry for the length. Kinda-sorta-maybe lost myself in the last two memories. o-o**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Memory Four**_

"_**Parlez Vous Francais?"**_

* * *

"This is bullshit. Out of _all_ days, you just had to choose today to come here?"

"Hey! You were all for it until you saw the parking situation."

"For fuck's sake, Feng, we're _Elementals_. We do not to see a history-"

"That's not why we're here!"

Andy closed his eyes and pursed his lips, opening his door and climbing out. Feng did the same, the sixteen year old bouncing about as he looked up at the lights. "You know they have the fair starting today!"

"Feng, please-"

The Salamander would have nothing of it – the boy gripped Andy's hand tightly and dragged him along, bi-colored eyes shining as he paid admissions. "For two!" he exclaimed, earning a sarcastic grin from the guard. He looked at Andy.

"Didn't know people took their _kids_ here after thirteen…"

"This is a family park and he is not my- wait…- Hey! I am _not that old_!"

Andy snatched the tickets from the guard's hand and growled to the backdrop of Feng's laughter, taking his shoulder. The man paused, feeling Feng take his hand from his shoulder and holding on to it tightly. The older looked down; the Salamander was grinning.

What's more, he was grinning at _him_.

Andy's heart soared and he chuckled. "Alright… lead the way, fireball."

* * *

"No- that's not even close!"

"Are _you_ the historian?"

"No, but I know a hell of a lot more than _you_."

Andy pressed his hand to his forehead. As he'd suspected, Feng had bullied his way into the temporary 'museum' of artifacts – something that even Andy could tell was filled with fakes to attract human and city-born Elemental attention – and their money.

Still, at least he didn't disrupt the tour to question the historian on Salamander origins.

Of course, it _had_ been pretty bullshit.

Perhaps Feng was the real hero.

The tour guide pressed her hands on her hips and growled, her eyes narrowed.

"I'll have you know that I have a _degree_ in Elemental history!" she spouted, as if it had really mattered.

To Feng, it only made him laugh.

"Yeah? I'll have you know my parents _lived it_. Now shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down, and listen up."

* * *

Andy had to control his laughter. The teenager had been grumbling for over an hour, his arms crossed and an angry scowl taking over his face.

"Aww. What's the matter, Feng? I thought you had fun."

"I did until that little bitch called security."

Andy burst at the seams, holding his sides as he cackled. "Y-you should've seen her _face_! She looked absolutely humiliated! It was _brilliant_, Feng!"

Feng's scowl slowly lightened before disappearing completely, replaced by a grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You showed her a few things. By the way – was it true?"

"Hm?"

"About Salamanders. The whole… Form thing."

"Yeah. The damn city keeps us regulated, but yeah. You could, too, if you tried hard enough. I wouldn't suggest it though… might kill someone."

"And fire won't?"

"…Shush."

* * *

_**Memory Five**_

"_**24/7"**_

* * *

Feng smirked, pushing up his glasses.

Normally, he wouldn't have cared.

Normally, he'd have reacted the same.

And normally, he'd have done his job before hiding away backstage all over again, waiting for some of the girls before he talked again.

But this wasn't a normal day.

This wasn't a normal show.

This… _this_ was the deal. The _real_ deal.

He looked in the mirror once again, putting another layer of makeup over his eyes.

"Wow! Feng, as usual, you look beautiful."

Feng turned around, grinning at the blond behind him. "Thanks, Aurora. I appreciate it!"

_Of course I'm good; I've been doing it since I was fourteen._

"You're almost up and you're not even _dressed _yet!" Aurora cried, the next girl lining up next to her male counterpart behind them. Feng glanced over at them before grinning, standing slowly. "Have you been working _this whole time_ on your eyes!?"

"Mm. Eyes are the doors to one's soul."

Aurora rolled her eyes. "And everyone knows yours are one of a kind."

A snort sounded opposite them and Feng glanced up.

…Ew.

She crossed her arms, her hair done up in pretty red curls. Feng instinctively curled his lip, leaning against the table over at her. "And just what's wrong with you, Miss Piggy?" he asked, his head tilting as he fluttered his lashes sweetly, "Kermit stuck in your throat?"

"Oh, _fuck you_," she snarled, her nasally voice grating on Feng's nerves. He hadn't any idea how she had even made it into the business – she had an ugly personality.

Of course, she had an ugly exterior to match. Perhaps it was only fitting. He knew he was bitter – but he _still_ hadn't laid eyes on her without her makeup, always mounds of it caked on her flesh. Fake nails, temporary tattoos… Everything about her was _fake_.

…_And I do mean **everything**._

"You wish you could," Aurora snapped, and Feng glanced at her, snickering as Miss Piggy snorted again, flipping her hair angrily and strutting away.

"…Jesus. I don't even know what's wrong with her." Aurora huffed. Feng rolled his eyes.

"I haven't the slightest. I should get dressed… like to lend me a hand?"

Aurora's eyes lit up. "…Can I do your hair!?"

The Salamander's laugh rang out even over the music and nodded, taking her hand and leading her away.

* * *

The stress never seemed to bother them.

When the other models looked at them they were always laughing, always smiling. Their eyes were always clear. It was unknown just how they stayed so calm, but something told most of them that it was Feng's doing. He'd always had that… _calming_ personality. If it hadn't been Elemental perhaps he'd even make them fall asleep in comfort. But of course, there was that… _chemical_ inside them that forced attention onto their every move.

It was only natural that an Elemental would be on the scene.

It seemed like an unfair advantage.

But nobody complained.

Because in all honestly…

He was already one of them.

* * *

Feng stared into the full-body mirror, moving into a calm post, one arm hanging with the other poised on his hip, his left knee bent outward slightly and his delicate hips tilted.

"You look… absolutely amazing." Aurora gushed, playing with the Salamander's fluffy blond hair for an extra moment before removing her shirt, turning. Feng unhooked her bra calmly, and once she moved to change into her own clothes, he stared back into the mirror.

This was it. This was his one chance – he'd been scouted by the modeling agency but this trip… this would change everything. A trip to _Milan_, to _Venice._ And then off to Paris. He would be a familiar face in not just Saol, but soon, all around the _world_.

Most people would feel uncomfortable with this – for Feng, it was a feeling he'd discovered to be rather exhilarating.

He adjusted his collar, taking in the outfit he was to be modeling. Dark in color, the vest fit snugly over his form – not by it being too small, but by _design_. It wasn't his favorite fashion – he'd much rather be in a pair of baggy sweats and a T-shirt three sizes too large – but he supposed it looked rather nice… especially with the white undershirt tucked into jet-black jeans, clinging to his ankles. The boots were a nice touch, silver buckles shining subtly with every glint of light it caught. He snatched the black jacket from its hanger on the door, swinging it on as Aurora cleared her throat. He looked at her, a slow grin forming.

Her dress matched the same material and color as his vest – with a few differences, of course. It held small pieces of what looked like ruby lining the top of the breasts, shoulders free of any straps. The dress went to her knees, fluffing out toward the bottom. Incredibly simple – but striking, Feng discovered. He'd been doubtful on first sight but seeing it on the pretty hairdresser; he couldn't help but think that it was perfect. He offered his arm as soon as the jacket was on, letting it hang open.

"Shall we?"

"You aren't going to close it?"

"Why should I? Even if I lose, I want to add my own flair. Fashion doesn't go just one way, sweetheart."

Aurora grinned and looped her arm into his, and they made their way to their positions. Feng felt the excitement rolling about in his gut and he looked to the crowd – he could see Andy as he rushed in, fighting the crowd to make it to the front. Éclair was behind him, her face obscured by a black veil. He chuckled. As usual, the woman's disguises were painfully obvious – but in a fashion 'show'…

He watched a woman walk past him wearing a dress made entirely of feathers.

…_Perhaps she's the only one who's **normal** here…_

He could see Dakota, as well, the boy looking up at the stage in wonder, his black-and-white striped shirt hanging off his shoulders. Clearly, he was unafraid of any and all aggressors – even in public, in a place so focused on what one was wearing, the boy _still_ wore his signature skirt, the black garment contrasting pale skin. He had already made it into the trip the previous night – he was here for _Feng_, now.

His smile brightened considerably.

He could barely see him – he was away in the corner, a huff escaping his lips (Feng could only tell by the movement of his shoulders) and a firm frown. Clearly he didn't like the noise – and Feng could hardly fault him. The sound in the room reverberated and gave even _Feng_, who had worked in a club prior to the modeling career, could hardly stand it. His ears rung, his hands trembled and his chest experienced the same earth-shattering effect as being shaken in an Earthquake.

But Max was still there.

That was plenty for Feng.

"And we have saved the _best_ for last," the woman called, and Feng recognized her as his scout, looking at Aurora – the woman smiled back at him, shifting in anticipation. The music died and lights changed. Max straightened slightly, his frown disappearing, replaced with an anxious smile. Andy paused and Éclair, though Feng could not see her face, was clearly about to bounce off the walls in excitement. Dakota bit his lip, releasing a low squeak as he clenched his fists against his chest.

The music started. The lights shifted to face them and Feng was temporarily blinded – nevertheless he took the step precisely as Aurora did, the two walking side by side. Dakota squealed in excitement with the crowd, waving lightly at Feng – Feng did not respond but as he stopped with the woman beside him he looked straight down at Dakota – and a camera man – and gave a dazzling smile, his lips pulling up to show pearly white teeth. Andy whistled and shouted, crying a short "Yeah!" pulled down from the excitement by Éclair. Feng tried not to chuckle at the man, looking back briefly at Max.

The man smiled softly, lifting his fingers to his lips as if he held a cigarette. Feng nodded slowly, a grin on his face.

"_I don't care what they say about me – I don't care what they think._

_I'm no American Idol._

_If you only knew what I know, if you only knew what I know – _

_So tell me, can I be your-can I be your- **Can I be your idol**?"_

* * *

Feng lined up next to Aurora, glancing up at her face. They were two of the final six. The others had been either cast away or added to the opposite side, whispering excitedly.

To Feng's displeasure, "Miss Piggy" had made it.

_That damned Gnome has everyone wrapped around her fucking finger…_

He did not adjust his expression. It was one of happiness, even as names were called off – none of which being his. He felt his heart thudding, his stomach rolling in anxiousness.

_I'm not it. I'm not making the cut. I can't. I'm just not good enough._

They stopped.

The woman stared at those who had stepped up. Feng and Aurora were left behind.

"…Sorry, you guys. You didn't make it."

Feng paused. At first, he had been certain she had been speaking to him and his partner – but the four who had been spoken to bowed their heads. One looked pissed but said nothing – the others merely smiled and thanked them, departing.

…_What?_

"Congratulations."

Feng's smile cracked. He blinked. Aurora had already wrapped him in a tight hug, squeezing him to the point of nearly breaking his ribs. "Aah- _Goddess_, 'Rori!"

She released him. "S-sorry! I just… we- We _made it_!"

Feng looked at the crowd, his eyes widening as the realization sunk in.

…_We made it._

_**I** made it._

* * *

_**Memory Six**_

"_**Pina Colada Boy"**_

* * *

Feng slammed down the bottle, laughing as Andy whistled. He looked at Max, who held an amused expression as he pulled the cigarette from his lips.

"Time?" Feng asked, breathless. Max looked at his watch.

"…Two minutes."

"Fuck!" Andy shouted, glaring at Éclair. The woman still held the bottle, mockingly shaking it by the neck.

"Face it, Andrew – nobody can beat my time."

Aurora giggled, wobbling in her chair. "Nor mine!" she called, hiccupping.

Baby, the bartender and another of Feng's close friends, shook her head and took the glass away from the new model. "Honey… you're drunk off your _ass_."

"I am-" _hic_ "-not!"

Feng snickered, rolling his eyes.

Dakota chuckled as he took another chip into his mouth, chewing on it as Feng pushed the bottle back toward Baby. "I should probably stop," he started, smiling weakly, "remember the last time I got drunk?"

"Oh, I do." Max remarked, smiling slowly as he resisted the smirk. Feng glared at him, huffing.

"Oh I'm sure _you_ do."

"As do I," Dakota called, laughing as Feng groaned.

"Yeah, I'd bet."

"Yup. I was the one you stayed with for the night."

"Don't even go there."

"Say…" Max started, leaning over the bar, "what happened once the doors were closed, anyway? Feng would never tell us?"

They leaned closer.

Feng groaned even louder. "Dakota, I swear, if you say _anything_-"

"He started dancing with a mannequin at one point, I remember that."

"Oh god damn it…" Feng muttered, covering his eyes as Max failed to hold back the laughter. Andy, too, released a short burst of snickers, and Éclair pat Feng on his back, biting her lip as her eyes shined in amusement.

"Don't worry sweetheart, we all make mistakes."

"No," Dakota spoke again, forcing Feng to glare.

"Don't you do it."

"I remember at some point-"

"Dakota. Don't. You. _Dare._"

"He-"

"No!"

"He ended up singing… what was it again, Feng?"

"…Don't remember."

"Bullshit," Baby mocked, leaning closer. The lesbian winked, "Tell me or I'll tell you about my last lay."

"Jesus Ch- Okay! Okay! I… Gah…"

"It's on the tip of my tongue...! Dakota shouted, snickering as Feng smacked his head on the bar table, "it was that one song… something about a pool."

"Mm."

"What was it?' He pressed, grinning as Baby clapped him on the back.

"…Pina Colada Boy…" Feng muttered, and Max cleared his throat.

"Huh. Feng, that's…" Max paused, searching for the correct word. Andy, however, had no problem speaking.

"So gay."

"ANOTHER ROUND PLEASE." Feng cried, snatching the bottle back. He faced Éclair, all too willing to redirect the conversation. "You're on, bitch." He joked to his aunt, tipping the bottle as Max sighed and shook his head. His and Baby's heads went immediately to their watches.

* * *

"I am not drunk."

"Feng, you can't even stand."

"Noo-fuck you! I can stand just f-…oh Goddess. Andy. Stop duplicating."

Andy looked at Max, who shook his head. "Hey, don't look at me. I had to deal with a drunken Feng once – your turn."

"Feng I just want you to lay down."

"No!"

"Gah- Feng! _Sit the fuck down_."

Feng flopped on the couch, his backside in the air as he crawled over the back, watching the others as they stood around Andy's bar.

"Jesus. Tanked on his twenty third birthday…"

Éclair snickered. "And I _still_ stand as undefeated."

"Damn it… Alright, how much do I owe you?"

"Twenty-five."

"Shit…"

"Wait!" Dakota shouted, holding his hands up. He grinned, grabbing a bottle quickly. "You didn't even challenge _me_!"

"…Please. No offence sweetheart," Baby started, chuckling, "but you… don't exactly look like you can hold down your liquor."

"Watch me. Start the time."

* * *

Max had already called it a night, sitting in the chair and watching Feng as he rested his head on his arm, groaning in attempts to make his world stop spinning. The older man rolled his eyes and crossed his legs, shaking his head.

_Slam_

All eyes were on the cross dresser. Éclair's jaw had dropped halfway through. Andy had already taken his money back and put it in his pocket. Baby blinked in shock. Feng had fallen asleep, hidden under coats and blankets.

Dakota only beamed. "What~?" he asked innocently, his feminine face contorting into another of his signature 'happy faces', "I had to get along with my brothers and what better way to do that than drink with them~"

Éclair looked at Baby. Baby shrugged, smiling weakly.

"Sorry, honey. Beat you by sixteen seconds."

"Damn it!"

* * *

Max yawned, watching Baby as she slid on her coat. "Well, I hate to leave while the night is so young but I have somebody waiting at home." She winked. Andy groaned in disgust.

"Yeugh… I don't even want to think about that, Baby."

Baby shrugged, laughing. "Admit it. You'd love it if you were even the slightest bit straight."

"Which I am not. Go on, don't keep her waiting."

Baby was gone. Dakota, too, had stretched and took his leave, admitting he had classes in the morning. Éclair wanted to go back to the hotel, exhaustion clear in her eyes.

Max would have left already – but he'd been so absorbed in reading that he hadn't even noticed everything else.

As soon as he looked away from the group his eyes settled on Feng's figure, the soft face relaxed as he rested.

He chuckled, standing.

"I'd better head home, too. I've been behind on my sleep schedule as it is. Tell Sleeping Beauty I'll see him tomorrow."

Andy nodded, holding the door open for his guests before closing it behind them, looking down at his friend.

Feng had his eyes opened, just barely, but he had a soft grin.

"M'not sleeping beautiful." He muttered, face obscured by the pillow as he buried his head further into it, and Andy rolled his eyes, chuckling.

"I don't know, Feng…" he muttered, unburying him. Feng held out his arms and groaned, accepting Andy's help as the older man lifted him from the couch. As usual the male was lighter than he looked – which made it that much easier to carry him up the stairs and lay him on the bed. "…you looked like you were sleeping beautifully to me." He whispered, running a hand over the male's forehead.

The door downstairs opened and Seth called out, "I'm home!" before the _ting_ of keys landing in the dish on the counter rang clear. Feng had already drifted away – and Andy made his way downstairs, smiling at his lover.

"Welcome home, Seth."

"Damn." Seth muttered, looking about the room at bottles on the bar, confetti on the table and several glasses piled up in the sink. "…looks like I missed one hell of a party."

"Yeah… Birthday-Boy's drunk himself into a stupor, he's sleeping upstairs. We'll have to be quiet."

"…" Seth stared before grinning, shrugging off his jacket.


	14. You Can Fly

**So… tired…**

**Two in the morning, running on about twenty minutes of sleep, school starts next week- Yeah! I've got everything under control!**

**I don't know the actual name of the song I listened to. All I know is that it's by the Gardner Sisters. So I just picked a line from the end somewhere. xD**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Ten**_

_**You Can Fly**_

* * *

His nightmares had been particularly relentless, as of late. He couldn't seem to forget the eyes, those damned _eyes_, the very thing he'd seen nothing of since she'd been caught and he was rescued.

Steve had already gone, but Feng could hear him grunting outside. As the Salamander moved out of their shelter, he spotted the man just as he cut down a tree, the nature crashing down and hitting the ground with a thunderous _boom_ and rustling of leaves.

Feng stepped closer, clearing his throat to alert him.

"…Good morning. I didn't want to wake you." He murmured, tossing an apple his way. "Found an apple tree."

"Oh, thank Goddess…"

Steve tilted his head curiously but said nothing, leaning down and ripping the branches away first, shaking the leaves violently.

"…Err… you okay there?"

"Yeah. This damned branch won't come off. Too strong."

"For you?" Feng simpered, chuckling. "And here I thought you were all high and mighty."

Steve glared and remained silent, and Feng cleared his throat once more, shifting uneasily.

He'd been traveling with the man for nearly two months, and still he felt as if every word he spoke meant less and less. The man was nothing but kind to him – perhaps it was all in Feng's imagination.

He bent over, assisting the man.

"…So… What's on the agenda today?" Feng began carefully, glancing at the brunette.

"…Not sure. We're almost to my home – from there, we'll need to figure out what we're doing."

"Wait- _Your_ home?" Feng inquired, smiling broadly. "I thought you were on the move all the time?"

Steve hesitated, glancing at Feng. The Salamander's heart twisted, his smile cracking before disappearing entirely.

The man's face was broken, his eyes dulled. He seemed to no longer hold his strength – and Feng wasn't sure if it was a positive or a negative.

On the plus side, he felt comfortable around the Salamander. He trusted him. That was always a good thing to have when you traveled together for long periods of time.

On the negative side…

He was just as broken as Feng. He was just as frightened. And if he was afraid of this place as well, but he remained… what did that mean for Feng? Did that mean that Steve had no real idea of how to get out, or did he simply choose to stay?

"…We all need a home." Steve murmured, his voice trembling slightly. Feng stayed silent, biting his lip.

"…Hey… hey, I'm sorry, I just wasn't… I mean, I know you need a safe place to go to when things go wrong, but I…"

"Don't worry about it."

The stone had returned and Steve smirked at him, holding out his hand when he stood. Feng took it shakily, accepting the help and following the male as he walked.

"No time to waste. There… there _are_ more of us, you know."

Feng didn't even wait to hear more – he was next to the man in an instant.

* * *

"…Wow."

"Mhm."

"This… _this_ is home, huh?"

"Not what you were expecting?"

"…No. Not at all. It's… it's _more_ than I expected."

Feng stood on the hill, watching people as they moved from home to home, conversing with one another lightheartedly.

"Some just stumbled upon us, some were found. I don't know why they're here. Perhaps it is not Notch's doing but another being – or perhaps just the right set of circumstances."

Feng nodded weakly. "Well… Aah… do we all have a common goal?"

Steve stared at him as he started to move forward, facing front once more when he began to speak, "and what goal would that be?"

"…to go _home_."

Steve chuckled.

"Most of us. Some have given up hope."

"Are you one of them?"

"No. I cannot give up hope." Steve's response was immediate and snappy, his lips curling into a temporary snarl. Feng jumped and looked away, rubbing his arm and closing his eyes.

"…sorry."

Steve said nothing.

"Oi! Welcome home, Steve!"

"Welcome back. We were worried there for a while."

"How's the Elder? He doing alright?"

"He's doing fine."

"…"

Eyes were on Feng. He didn't have to look back to know it. They were all on him and they were all watching.

One man moved closer, his slightly scarred tanned skin setting Feng's warning bells off. "…Steve…" he whispered, unaware that Feng could hear him, "who's the new guy? He safe?"

"He is."

Green eyes darted around, "…are you sure?"

"Positive. He just wants to get home, like us." He waved the Salamander over and Feng trotted closer, leaving his place by a small house, "Feng, this is Jason. Jason, Feng."

Feng held out his hand, smiling softly. "Nice to meet you."

"Feng, huh?" Jason cautioned, eyeing Feng's fingers. He didn't take his hand – he merely moved away. "…welcome, I s'pose."

Feng watched the red headed man disappear and he frowned, his arms pulling closer to his body.

Steve shook his head. "Don't mind him. Come, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

* * *

The door creaked open.

"The owner is out at the moment – somewhere around the town. He'll be back tonight. I'm sure he won't mind having a room mate. I'll warn you – he's a bit… odd. Very quiet, so don't worry if he doesn't respond to you. He's only spoken once or twice, and only when asked a question that _required_ a response."

Feng nodded, his eyes falling on the shelves.

"…these are… _a lot_… of books."

"Mhm. All written by him. That's all he does, if he's not sent on assignment. He sits in here and writes or reads. Always." Steve had a hint of disappointment in his voice but said nothing more about it, stepping back to the door. "I'll let him know you're so a fight doesn't break out."

"'Kay." Feng waved him off, stepping through the small home, his delicate hands brushing against the bound books.

He took one from its home, opening it to the first page. He took a seat by the window.

He began to read.

* * *

'_Day four hundred and two. I think. I still don't know where I am – I've found myself trapped in this cave system, writing by torchlight and the last bit of ink I have. My throat hurts; I haven't eaten in days, and the last source of water… I don't even know where it is. I've gotten myself turned around. My pickaxe broke, my sword isn't near as effective, and I'm out of arrows. To be honest, I'm thinking of simply… ending it here. What's the use? I'm never finding a way back home, even if I find a way to the surface. Since that damned rockslide…_

_It's only a matter of time. I can hear those clocks ticking, alongside the grumbling of my stomach. I'll be dead in a matter of days, starved – if those spiders don't get me first.'_

Feng turned the page.

'_Day… I don't even know what day it is. I've no idea how long has passed since I was crazy enough to explore this cave system. I've been living on spider and zombie flesh for what seems like __years__. It's disgusting but I… do I really have a choice?_

_I don't want to die. I miss home. I miss my family. I miss… everything. I want to go back home again, see my mum, my dad. My sisters. I even miss my brother. When I dream, all I can see is them._

_I'm almost out of ink._

Feng frowned, noting the thinner scrawls as he turned the page once more.

_You know that feeling when somebody is watching you and it seems like no matter what you do the eyes never leave you?_

_I've felt like that for a while now._

_I keep hearing things._

_It might be just my imagination – I would assume one would be delirious by now, in my situation – but it feels so… so real._

_If I should die and you somehow find this journal, please, I am begging you. Just leave. Just run, run and never look back. _

Shivers made their way up his spine.

_The impossible has happened._

_I was asleep when I heard it. It was… loud, actually. Much louder than I expected, but I suppose that happens when you've been trapped in silence for days – possibly weeks – on end._

_Somebody found me. I'm saved. At the moment, he is sleeping beside me and we are in a small cave – I swear, I will never mine again after this. Anyway, he calls himself 'Steve'. He seems like a nice man. He says he is just like me – simply found himself transported here one day. He hasn't elaborated but to be honest I don't care to know. It's none of my business anyway, I suppose. He had a few ink sacs he hadn't planned on using and let me use them. _

_I don't know how he found me, but he didn't seem at all surprised when I sat up. He simply took me by the arm, helped me to my feet, took his arm and wrapped it around my waist, and led me out of the cave. The sun was beautiful… never thought I'd appreciate it._

_I'm exhausted. _

"…Put that down."

Feng jumped. He looked up sharply, eyes wide as he slammed the journal closed, biting his lip.

A tall, slender blond man stepped in, his eyes narrowed in caution. He moved closer and closer, the glasses on his face nearly falling off of his nose as he stared at the Salamander sitting in the corner.

"Err… Hi. I'm assuming Steve told you I was-"

"He did." He snapped, gathering the journal in his arms protectively. "…let me make something clear to you." He snarled, moving closer. Feng shrunk back with a wince. "You can touch all these books – I don't care. But if you see one with a red binding," he pointed to the journal in emphasis, "don't you even think about touching it. How far did you get?"

Feng hesitated.

"…not far." He lied, smiling weakly. The male didn't seem to believe him and he moved closer dangerously, moving as if he were about to strike.

"Quill." The voice was loud, booming, and both blond men jumped, looking back at the man. Steve stood in the doorway, leaning against the wood in anger. "Leave him alone. You really think he knows the rules? He's barely been here three hours."

'Quill' only glanced between the two before clutching the book to his chest, nodding. "…Yes sir. Sorry."

"Good. Our supper will be done soon, I believe. We'll bring it to you, as usual?"

"Yes, please."

Feng looked at Steve pleadingly. "Would you like to come with, Fe-"

"Yes." Feng shot out of his seat, rushing to leave the house. Steve sent a final glare at the writer in the corner before disappearing.


	15. Isolate

**Time to push forward. Starting to lose motivation, but I'm trying.**

* * *

_**Running Blind**_

_**Chapter Eleven**_

_**Isolate**_

* * *

He stepped through the door nervously, peeking around the corner. After the week before, Feng had been having… _second thoughts_ about living anywhere near Steve.

It wasn't he man himself – oh, no, Steve was nice enough, if a little rough at points, but it was nothing the Salamander couldn't handle.

No, no, he wasn't the problem.

It was _him_. Quill. He was quiet, and it was _unnerving_. He never said more than a single word at a time –

"_Move._"

"_Yes._"

"_No._"

"_Perhaps._"

"_Leave._"

That was all he ever said. Never more, though perhaps he'd send the other away with a glare. Feng never touched the shelves along the walls, as promised – the last thing he wanted was to fight. He'd been sapped of his strength long ago, and judging by his journal, Quill was used to fighting. He was used to surviving.

Feng stood not one chance.

The Salamander sat in the chair, frowning. Quill wasn't there, which was just fine with him, but the lack of noise in this damned house was beginning to annoy him. He'd always _hated_ silence.

The door slid open. Feng glanced up and stared, watching Quill enter, Steve directly behind him. Quill looked unhappy and Steve a tad irritated, but before Feng could question anything he found himself yanked to his feet.

"Ow- What the _fuck_?" Feng hissed, pulling his arm back and rubbing his wrist. Quill said nothing, seething as his eyes burned into Feng's own.

Steve finally grunted, successfully gaining the attention of the two blondes glaring at one another. "If I may be blunt," Steve drawled, his expression falling into one of boredom, "you _both_ need to bathe. Go."

"Fine." Quill hissed, beginning to walk away. Steve lifted his hand, slapping it against Quill's chest before he had the chance to escape.

"Take him with you."

"What-"

"Take Feng to the river with you. You need somebody to watch your back."

"He's not watching _anything_ of mine." Quill growled, his light voice rising in volume. A few passers-by looked up and scuttled away, choosing the intelligent route – leave before Steve noticed their gawking.

"If he does not, then you will go alone and we will _not_ come to your aid should you be overtaken."

Quill silenced, and Feng felt more than a little offended as it appeared that the other was _considering_ sacrificing safety to get away from him.

"_Quill_." Steve warned, and he finally grunted.

"Fine, fine. Come on, kid." Quill departed and Feng stepped forward, wincing. He looked up at Steve, pale lips parted.

"…You sure he's not going to strangle or drown me while we're out there?"

The brunette chuckled, shaking his head and clapping Feng on the shoulder. "Relax, Feng. He's capable of murder, yes – but not of people with two legs and a head to think. Those days are long gone."

And he was gone. Feng followed after Quill slowly, sprinting to catch up when the other whirled around, arms crossed with an icy glare.

"Are you _coming_ or _not_?" Quill snapped, and the Salamander lowered his head, catching up with a slight frown.

_This guy is really starting to piss me off…_

* * *

Feng pulled his knee toward his chest, cradling the blade in his hands. Quill had already disappeared under the water, his naked frame a mere shadow in the water. The Salamander had forced himself to look away from the waving hair beneath the surface, the fragile legs, the frail hands – he huffed, eyes narrowed.

_So he's pretty. Big deal, a lot of people are pretty. Steve himself is rather good looking – but that doesn't mean I can ogle him as he bathes._

Quill emerged, earning a jump and a slight gasp from the male on the riverbank.

He said nothing, only looking at him briefly before running a hand through his hair, shaking his head of water droplets. Feng grunted, standing. "Is it my turn yet?"

"_No_." Quill growled, diving under once again.

_He's messing with me. I know he is._

Defeated and exhausted, Feng only leaned back, laying his head on his arm as he closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he nearly cried out in shock.

Steve stared back at him from across the river, still as stone.

But that _couldn't_ be Steve, could it? He couldn't have possibly made it across the river without being seen or heard by _one _of them.

He blinked.

He was gone.

He sat up slowly, his stomach rolling. He flailed and sat up, pushing his hands into the water and waving them about in attempts to get Quill's attention – the man didn't seem to hear him.

He did the only thing he could think to do.

He jumped in.

The water was cold but he supposed it was pleasant, at least the sensation of it was. Perhaps he would enjoy his bath when he finally managed to get one – for now, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only.

_Run._

_Run. _

_Just fucking __**run**_!

His hand gripped Quill's wrist and the other gasped, air bubbles floating up to the surface. He thrashed, but they soon arrived at the top, Feng pulling him out.

Quill gagged, coughing as his eyes watered and his throat and chest burned.

"What the-" He hacked again, "What the hell is _wrong with you_!?"

"We need to leave."

"Why?"

"Just… just listen to me _for once_, will you?"

"Why the hell should I, you just tried to _kill me_!"

"And if we stay here, then somebody will succeed!"

Silence. Quill stared at him in suspicion before meeting his eyes. Pure panic left the Salamander's orbs, and despite the majority of Quill's good sense, he sighed and snatched his clothes.

"Fine, fine, if you insist."

They reached the little village in record time. Feng had sprinted and, in order to keep himself from being dragged along the dirt by Feng's speeding hand, sprinted right behind him.

Steve blinked as they nearly slammed into him, Feng doubling over and holding his chest as he leaned against the wall.

Quill looked pale, his entire body trembling.

"…Boys? Are you alright?"

Feng closed his eyes, trying to ignore the stares from everyone around him.

Quill moaned and swayed, his blue eyes glazing over as he fell to his knees.

Feng was quick to shoot up and catch him, gasping as soon as his eyes snapped open and Quill collapsed into his arms. He moaned once again, lips parted as they lost color. He seemed to be staring at something directly above Feng and let out a shrill cry, slamming the heel of his hand into his savior, and Feng yelped, holding his nose with one hand as it leaked crimson.

"Restrain him!" Steve shouted, pulling Quill away from Feng as the other watched in horror.

Quill still kept his eyes on him – rather, he still stared at something _behind_ him.

Feng whirled around.

He faced only himself in the reflection of the window.

* * *

Feng sighed, setting the wet cloth over Quill's forehead. His own nose was covered with what little protection they had, in the form of a few makeshift bandages made out of spider string.

Close the fuck enough, he supposed.

"Feng?" Steve cautioned, stepping into the room. He and two other men held baskets, the ones behind him looking more and more uncomfortable as time passed. "We have the things you asked for."

Feng smiled briefly, standing and taking each basket as it was handed to him. "I…I didn't need _this_ much."

"We'll just store whatever's left over."

Feng smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

As the two strangers left Steve remained, getting onto his knees beside Feng as the other leaned over a sleeping Quill.

"…He alright?"

"He's fine – showing classic signs of PTSD, but fine. I don't know what happened… There wasn't anything there and I didn't do anything to him before we ran."

"…Why _did _you run, anyway?" Steve inquired curiously, tilting his head as Feng stiffened.

"…Just a feeling I had. I felt like somebody was there, watching me – and they weren't exactly nice. So I jumped in, grabbed Quill, and we got the hell out of there."

"I see."

"Do you have a bone-"

"We do."

"Thanks."

"Why a bone, anyway?"

"Just something harder. I needed something to stir and crush with."

Feng grabbed a bowl from one of the baskets as well as a bucket of milk, pouring a small amount into it. "Just so you know, I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never worked like this before, so… restricted."

"It's fine. At least you're trying."

Feng smiled wearily, sighing and turning his attention back to the bowl in front of him.

* * *

Quill groaned, opening his eyes.

Feng was in the corner, snoring quietly, curled up against the wall. Steve had seated himself beside the bed, and he looked up as soon as the unconscious male made a noise.

"Are you awake?"

"Agh… my head is _killing me_."

"I'll take that as a yes," Steve grunted, sighing and leaning back. "How do you feel?"

"…tired. Weak."

The brunette chuckled, shaking his head. "Yes, Feng warned me about that. Figured you would be a little tired."

The injured man stiffened up and took notice of the blond in the corner, watched his hand twitch slightly.

"…What did he do to me, Steve?"

"Nothing that would hurt you, I assure you. He's been up for days trying to help you."

"D-days?"

"Mm. You woke up a couple of times – but you were awfully out of it, so he whipped something up to make you sleep."

Quill bit his lip and lowered his gaze, staring at his hands as he lifted them to his face. He could remember the figure in the window, the harsh, milk-white eyes. Worse, they looked just like…

He shuddered, looking away from Steve.

"…What did you see?" Steve whispered, setting a comforting hand on Quill's own. The writer shrugged him off, blinking slowly and shaking his head quickly.

"Don't want to think about it. Don't want to talk about it."

"…" Steve looked about to respond – he said nothing, squeezing his eyes closed. "…Understood. I won't push it, then."

"I appreciate it."

Realizing that it was the longest Quill had ever spoken, Steve chuckled – it was cut short as a groan of fear left Feng's lips. He and Quill both frowned, him in worry and Quill in confusion.

"…Is he-"

"Don't know. We'll find out."

Steve stood sharply and strode toward the Salamander in the corner, hand lightly touching the male's shoulder.

Feng jolted, eyes wide. He took a moment to come to reality before he smiled, spotting Quill sitting up in the bed. "Quill! I'm glad you're awake."

He stood, dutifully tending to the incapacitated man, who only closed his eyes and wearily accepted the help.


End file.
